A Life to live
by Kyler Conroy
Summary: Kaiser X Yamato. Yamato's having problems in his life, and the Kaiser is the only one there for him. Probably going to end up like Ken X Yamato in the end. Hinted Daikeru. Minor Taito, and Taiora. Better than it sounds, R&R Rated T. Rating may go up.
1. Prologue: Am I alive?

A/n: Not a story that I had intended, however, I feel… in the mood. A.K.A, not in the best of moods right now, as my story will soon show. I haven't written a story like this in a while, and don't know how it will turn out. Be prepared for anything. Thank you to Akira Nishikawa, and Angelwahalla and Spazwahalla for reviewing the epilogue of Confused? I'm glad you guys liked it. Main pairing: Kaiser X Yamato maybe in the end just Ken X Yamato, I haven't decided yet, but for now, Kaiser X Yamato. Minor parings are Taiora, Taito, and Daikeru.

Anyhow, on with the story, this chapter will be the prologue it'll start in the present, then go back three weeks, and end back in the present. Time change will be marked by '???'. If the scene changes within a time area it'll just be marked by '?'.

Disclaimer: I do not own digimon.

Warning: Depression, mention of cutting, bastard Taichi (even though this one kind of hurts, I love Tai…), bitch Sora.

Rated T for swearing, cutting, and slight sexual scenes (nothing too bad,) rating may or may not go up, we'll see.

On with the prologue;

* * *

A phone rings in a silent room. A groan rises from a lump on a bed. A hand appears from beneath the covers, and falls onto the phone. "Hello?" a groggy, female voice asks into the receiver.

"Natsuko, I'm afraid it's happened again." A man's voice floated over Natsuko. She sat upright in bed, there was a brief pause on the other end as the man coughed violently. "I found him in his room. I can't keep him from doing this again. I think it's all piling up, I think he should move in with you. I couldn't bare to send him to another hospital, last time-

"I know what happened last time. I'll come by first thing in the morning to pick him up. Are you sure you will be fine on your own?" Natsuko asked, her voice- despite the early hour- alert and worried.

"I'll be fine, I'm sorry to change our agreements, but I just-

"No, I understand, don't worry, as soon as Takeru leaves I'll come by to pick him up. I'm assuming he doesn't have to go to school tomorrow?" She asked, falling back against her pillow.

"No, I've told him I was calling you. I think he's mad at me, he won't talk, but then again he never will. Hopefully you can do something that I wasn't able to do. I'll see you in the morning. Goodbye." There was a click on the other end, and Natsuko sighed.

"What could have caused this, he was doing so well."

???

A lone blonde walked quickly against the harsh wind towards his apartment. He smiled and pulled out his phone checking the time. For once he was actually early for a date, after a band rehearsal. He opened the door and ran up the stairs quickly, stopping only when he reached the door. He made his way in and set down his guitar, then took off his shoes. Walking to the kitchen counter, he saw a note pinned to the fridge.

_Yamato, had to leave for a doctors appointment, then work. See you later when I get home. Tai's waiting in your room. He can spend the night if he wishes. _

_Dad. _

Yamato smiled at the Taichi part, making his way to his room. He frowned when he heard noises from withing it, he leaned against the wall outside and sighed. He was pretty sure what would be on the other side of the door. However, he hoped that Takeru and Daisuke were wrong. He pushed the door open casually and leaned against the door jam. Taichi sat sprawled back over his bed, pants and boxers on the floor. Sora knelt before him, a bit to close to his crotch. As soon as the door banged against the wall, Sora shot away from Taichi, and Taichi just shot up.

"Ya-"

"Hi honey I'm home." Yamato said, his voice calm but laced with malice. Sora whimpered and backed into a corner, wiping her mouth. Yamato paid her no attention, and went father into his room, Taichi pulled his underwear and pants back up, before moving to hug Yamato.

"It's not what it loo-

"Don't touch me." Yamato said, moving away fast. "Do you really think you can touch me after you let _that _touch you?" he said, gesturing at Sora, who let out another whimper. Yamato rolled his eyes. "Shoo" he said to her, as fast as a fox, she was up and out of his room. He turned back to a sheepishly grinning Taichi, "I didn't mean just her."

"Wha- Yama- You-

"Save me the stammering and get out would you?" Yamato said nonchalantly, moving past Taichi to go back into the kitchen, and bring his guitar into his room. Taichi moved in front of him, placing his arm across the door opening. "Move your arm Taichi, or lose it."

"You are going to give up everything we have because of one stupid mistake?" Tai asked, anger in his voice. "That's dumb."

"You seemed pretty willing, does that make you dumb?" Yamato asked, his eyes batting in mock innocence, he ducked under Taichi's arm and made his way back to the kitchen, grabbing his guitar, and unfortunately, was followed by none other then Taichi.

"That was a low blow," Tai seethed, wiping Yamato around to face him.

"Really? I thought that's what you had Sora for." He ducked before Taichi could hit him and made his way to the front door. He opened it and turned back to Taichi. "Run along." Tai smirked and moved closer to Yamato, wrapping his arms around the blonde's mid section.

"Do you really want me to leave?" He mumbled, placing his mouth right next to Yamato's ear. "Because, you could finish what Sora started, and probably better." Yamato smiled at him, and ran his had down his arm, stopping just between his wrist and forearm.

"Why Taichi," He said, his voice stickily sweet, "You really are that dumb aren't you?" He said, grabbing Taichi's arm and twisting it, using the momentum, he swung Taichi around so his arm was pressed firmly against his back. "Get out now, last change," He let go of Taichi's arm and pushed him out the door. Taichi moved to come back through the door, but Yamato slammed it in his face. He then turned on his heels, and slammed his own door.

Sliding down the door slowly, Yamato sat with an emotionally empty face. Only when he hit the ground did what happen actually hit him. He folded his arms across his knees and let his head fall limp against his arms. No tears fell however, he just stared at the ground through his arms.

He felt nothing. He felt numb. He hated feeling nothing, and he hated feeling numb. After what seemed like hours, he looked up from his position on the floor. He wiped his tears, and rested his chin back on his arms. From here he could see his hiding place. He hadn't looked at it, or been in it a long time. His hiding place went back to when his parents were getting a divorce and he had thought it was his fault. In the past few years- before he and Taichi- it had become sort of a sanctuary.

Once Taichi had come into his life, though, he hadn't needed the hiding place. However now it seemed to be calling him. The whole room shuttered and beat, much like the floor boards in the tell tale heart. Yamato tore his gaze away. He wouldn't resort back to that. He closed his eyes trying to feel anything. Opening them a little he smiled. He had found an emotion to hang on to. He had found. He felt numb again. A knock resounded from outside his bedroom. "Yamato I'm home are you in there? Is Tai here?" His father's voice floated through the mahogany door. Yamato cleared his throat before speaking.

"Yeah I'm in here. No Taichi is not here, nor will he be here again. Ever. I'm not really hungry dad, I'm actually kind of tierd. I think I'm going to go to bed." He answered. "There should be some left over soup and rice in the fridge for you." He heard his father shuffle outside.

"Yamato, what happened between you and Taichi?" He asked, leaning against his son's door.

"Nothing." Came the staccato answer.

"Yamato, you have to talk about it."

"No I don't." Yamato said, banging his head lightly against the door. At the moment he didn't care what the therapist said. He didn't have to talk about anything. Especially Taichi. His dad sighed, but shuffled away nonetheless. Yamato closed his eyes again. Trying to feel anything. Nothing popped into mind, and he found himself moving towards his hiding place.

He sat in his closet and pulled out a small little box from under a pile of cloths. He opened the box, and pulled out a pearl handled pocket knife, it gleamed in the soft lighting of his closet. He smiled and opened it.

?

Over the next three weeks, giggles had followed Yamato down the hall. Apparently, someone knew he'd broken up with Taichi- correction- everyone knew he'd broken up with Taichi. Except Taichi himself. Fourteen texts and seventeen messages currently lived in the space of his phone. Every single one of them, either unopened, or not listened to. Taichi had spent every waking hour trying to hunt down Yamato in class, and out of class. However, Yamato's band mates- once they found out what Taichi had done- made a pretty good wall so Taichi couldn't see Yamato.

One thing Yamato was happy to report was Sora had steered clear of him. Even today, as they were all called to help the younger children in the digital world, she was staying as far away as possible. Takeru floated back to his brother, and walked in pace with him. "You've been awfully quiet. Gabumon's had to take refuge in talking to Patamon." He said, keeping his eyes forward. The best way to get something out of his brother – Takeru had learned- was to pretend to not be asking for it.

"Thinking." Was the only reply that came back. Takeru sighed inwardly and became quiet, trying to think of another way to get his brother to talk to him. However, his thoughts were interrupted by a fluttering cloak and a flash in the sky.

"Yo, Daisuke, It's the Kaiser." Takeru shouted, momentarily forgetting his brother, to run ahead to their leader and stop him. Daisuke turned around and groaned at the sight of the purple and blue clad boy.

"Can't we have one trip without you interrupting?" He drawled, pulling out his digivice. The Kaiser smirked, flourishing his whip. A Monochromon appeared from behind a rock.

"Funny I was just going to ask you the same thing." He sneered, cracking his whip. The Monochromon advanced, attacking the younger chosen children. Yamato retreated farther back. Seeing as how he and Gabumon could do nothing in this situation. He winced at the thought, something to make him feel better. Now not only was he apparently not good enough for Taichi, but he was useless here too. The Kaiser smirked when he saw Yamato. "Aww, blondie, feeling a bit useless? Your Gabumon could be useful on my team." Yamato saw red- if only for a moment- and lashed out at the Kaiser, successfully knocking him off his feet. He pinned the violet haired boy's hands above his head.

"Yamato!" Takeru and Gabumon yelled simultaneously. However they were blindsided by the Monochromon, and had to leave the blonde. The Kaiser growled and pushed back against Yamato, making him lose his balance. Standing back up the Kaiser lunged after Yamato, and successfully pinned him back against the tree. His hands above his head. Yamato's green blazer road up slightly, revealing angry red scars. Seeing these scars, the Digimon emperor let go, and backed away. A look of shock flashing across his face- albeit hidden by the goggles. "Monochromon lets go!" He yelled snapping his whip and jumping on the beasts back.

The rest of the chosen looked on with confusion at Yamato. He simply shrugged, and headed back towards a T.V. the look the Kaiser had given him, had freaked him out. All he wanted to do now was go home and take a shower. The other chosen followed him silently. None of them had seen the scars, but they all saw and heard the tone the Kaiser had used. Something was seriously wrong.

???

Yamato banged his head against the wall to his hiding spot. The Kaiser had seen his arms. What would the boy in the real world do about this? It could be used to so many advantages. He pulled out his knife. He just wanted to feel again. He slashed quickly, smiling when the pain took over his emotions. It flooded him, made him feel alive again. He smiled and fell back, the wall supporting him, he cut again, this time slower, and deeper. He savored the feeling it left.

Hiroaki sighed and walked through the door. He sat down and closed his eyes. Really he knew he should be getting Yamato and making dinner, but a five minute nap couldn't hurt right? His illness, and his work were making him sick. He heard a thump and instantly jumped up. "Yamato?" he questioned. Upon not receiving an answer, and out of old habit, he forced himself into Yamato's room, to see his son sprawled on the ground – still conscious- but with a bloodied arm. "Oh Yamato." He said, picking his son up, and bringing him to the bathroom. He bandaged the wounds quickly and looked into hazy blue eyes. "Why?"

"Am I still alive?" Yamato asked, his eyes filling with tears. "I can't feel it." He shut his eyes, and fell asleep almost instantly. Hiroaki sighed, but carried his son back to bed, then he grabbed the phone. He couldn't handle this again.

* * *

A/n: So, what do you guys think? More will be reviled next chapter, I promise. Sorry for the sucky grammar and all that. Something funky is going on with Word on my computer now, and it won't spell check properly, so I'm going to be using Google Docs, and to try and fix it. Please Read and Review. See you next time.


	2. Little Cuts

A/N: I'd just like to warn you all now: I have never _ever_ written with the Kaiser. Ever. This'll be a mixture of how I've always viewed Ken/the Kaiser, and a little of how he actually acts in the show. Just a forewarning; he probably will not be in character at all times. Thank you; _Zyanya, __Sumi19, Akira Nishikawa, nickypooh, Akiino, _and _bed of nails and sandpaper _for your reviews last chapter. Also, thanks to _Zyanya_, _Akira Nishikawa, lapin bleu sans patte, nickypooh, Akiino, _and _bed of nails and sandpaper, ERREREER, and WWDT _for adding either myself or this story to their fav/alerts lists. Finally: a huge thank you to my new beta, Akiino, who is hopefully going to save me from insomnia-filled nights of correcting grammar (Even though currently, it's 2:28 a.m. where I am).

Disclaimer: I do not own digimon. I never have, and I never will. I do not own any music, bands, movies, or other items I may mention. I do own my original characters, on the off chance that any appear.

Without further ado, I give you: _Little Cuts_.

* * *

Yamato stood silently outside his mother's door. He glared at the small, happy-looking welcome sign. He did not feel welcome, nor would he once inside. The only reason he was there was because he'd gotten caught. He'd fallen into his old habits. He'd taken advantage of his hiding spot. Despite still feeling numb and empty, Yamato understood just a tiny bit of the anger his father had felt: as if he couldn't handle the situation at hand. After the last time, he knew that this was only fair, but it still grated on him that no one trusted him. He just wanted to feel alive. It wasn't like he wanted to die; that would give Taichi the satisfaction of knowing he'd actually _meant_ something to Yamato, and he couldn't have that.

Roughly three hours earlier, after waiting patiently, Yamato found out from Mimi /why/ exactly Sora had been in his room with Taichi. Apparently, the two had been meeting up before every one of Yamato and Taichi's dates, whether it be at his house, Tai's house, the restaurant they were eating at, or just somewhere random. Tai had figured that with band practice that night, Yamato's house would be the safest place to cheat. Of course, in light of this news, Mimi (1) was mad enough for both herself and Yamato at Taichi and Sora so it didn't matter if Yamato was numb to the situation. He wasn't sure why Mimi was siding with him; it might have only been because he was a good shopper, but he hoped it could be attributed to friendship. This meant he had at least one person on his side.

If he told anyone else what had actually happened, he would probably have more people on his side, but at the moment he was too numb to care. Tears of frustration welled in his eyes, but he wiped them away and followed his mother through the door to his new apartment. Takeru, Patamon and Gabumon stood waiting in the living room, solemnly watching Yamato. No doubt Takeru had been informed of why Yamato was moving in, and had explained to Patamon and Gabumon exactly what was happening – as if he knew.

None of this mattered anyways; there was no way Yamato would cut again. It was stupid. After all the work he'd put in to quitting and all the time he'd spent trying to get better… Why waste that effort because of Taichi? Besides, the Kaiser had seen his scars, and it was highly unlikely he _wouldn't_ try to use that to his advantage. Therefore, it _wouldn't_ happen again. Yamato scratched his arm absentmindedly; he'd forgotten how much the scars itched. Takeru noted what he was doing, but either knew better than to acknowledge it, or simply refused to.

"Um… Well, I know it's not really a room, but Mom, Patamon, Gabumon and I fixed up the pull-out couch for you. We're going to work on getting you a bed, if you stay longer…" Takeru said, his voice fading out near the end. Yamato groaned inwardly; that was the other thing he'd forgotten– how everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells when around him.

An awkward sort of silence fell. Takeru turned to go, with a quiet: "Uh… I've got to go; there's a Chosen meeting soon…"

"Can I come with?" Yamato's voice was quiet, but there. He really didn't feel like going, especially since Taichi would no doubt be there, but there was no way he was staying home with his mother. Too many uncomfortable questions, the first of which would be: "How are you feeling?" If there was anything Yamato hated… it was that question.

"Yeah, sure; we may go to the digital world, though." Takeru said, still feeling uncomfortable. He had been too little to fully understand what had happened the last time. "You ready?"

"Yeah, I'll meet you outside- I just have to dig out my Digivice quick; it got buried in the moving process." Yamato said, opening his bag. Takeru gave him a nod and a final look of concern, before heading out the door with both digimon in tow. Yamato found his Digivice… and then pulled out his pocket knife. He stared at it. The need to take it overwhelmed his other senses and he slipped it in his pocket. It could come in handy. He scratched his arm again, quickly heading out of the house.

The trip to Daisuke's house was made in complete silence, neither brother knowing what to say to the other. Every few seconds, Takeru would look over at his brother and open his mouth as if to speak, but no sound was emitted. Patamon and Gabumon spent the entire walk there trading confused looks. Neither had seen the brothers so cold towards each other before. Takeru stopped outside of Daisuke's door and looked at Yamato again, fully intending to say something, but again swallowed his words, and knocked gently. Yamato winced inwardly when Taichi opened the door. However, he paid the brunette no mind and pushed on ahead, opting to converse with Koushiro and Jyou instead.

He could feel Takeru's eyes burning into the back of his head, but chose to ignore it. He knew that Takeru knew of the break up, but he was pretty sure no one – save Mimi, Taichi, Sora, and himself- knew _why_. To avoid the uncomfortable silence, Daisuke stood up and started their meeting, detailing where everyone was to go and with whom they were to travel with. Apparently someone had told Daisuke not to let Yamato wander off alone, because both Kari and Takeru were assigned to his group. He found himself groaning inwardly again, but got up nonetheless and made his way to the computer, traveling through with his babysitters.

As soon as he landed, he felt his hair go on end. He felt like he was being watched, and not just by his babysitters.

???

The Kaiser sat in his throne room, one leg half-heartedly thrown over the armrest. His head leaned against his arm, and he bit the tip of one of his gloved fingers, staring at the screen in front of him. A golden haired boy walked in step with, but behind, two of the digi-brats. Ken couldn't get his mind off of those scars- scars that _should_ make him jump for joy. Those scars meant that there was trouble in paradise. That the "chosen children" were breaking up. Yet, every time he saw those blue eyes, he wondered who could have ever broken someone so… unbreakable. Why the self mutilation? What was the purpose? The very thought that the blonde was hurting so bad made the Kaiser's insides boil. He looked up again when one of the three began to speak, "I think the first control spire is around here somewhere. Yamato, you and Gabumon should probably hang back in case the Kaiser decides to show up."

Yamato. That was the name of the boy he'd been watching.

"Ken, I just wanted to know what we're supposed to be doing… Don't we usually – oh I don't know- attack those children?" Wormmon asked, scuttling in from some other room.

"I've told you, Wormmon," Ken said around the glove in his mouth "Don't refer to me as Ken here, and no… not today, we won't be. Maybe not for a while... Yes, a long while…"

Wormmon said nothing, but the confusion was eating at him. For a day or so, all Ken had done was stare at that blonde boy. What was so special about him? Even Ken's insults and demands had dwindled lately.

"Yes, Kaiser," Wormmon answered finally scurrying back out of the room.

The Kaiser continued to watch Yamato, questions whirling inside of him. He perked up when Yamato snuck off alone, away from the rest of the chosen brats, and his own digimon as well.

This could be the chance Ken needed to figure this blonde out. "Wormmon, I need my cape- I'm going on a solo mission. No digimon whatsoever." He yelled over his shoulder, rushing out of the lair.

???

Yamato glanced behind himself on more time, just to be sure that no one saw him leave. He sighed in relief; after an hour of being watched like a dog, it was nice to get away from it all. He sat down against a tree and pulled out his pocket knife, opening it and staring at the blade. He was feeling numb again. He wanted something to make him feel. He turned the knife over in his hands. One cut wouldn't hurt, he decided, sliding up his sleeve. He pulled the knife against his skin softly, only cutting enough to bleed slightly. He felt pain rush through his veins, and for a moment he could feel.

The anger from the previous few weeks took over again. He felt the knife press against his flesh again and did nothing to stop the blade from pulling across. He shivered with delight. How could he have ever stopped this; this sensation was to die for. He almost felt alive again. Emotions swirled through him. Feeling came back. He went to pull the blade across again, when he heard the snapping of a twig. Coming out of his stupor, he quickly closed the knife, and rolled his sleeve down, his face hot with embarrassment. He hoped no one caught him like this. They wouldn't understand. He turned toward the noise just in time to see the Kaiser sneaking up on him. "What do you want?" Yamato asked, standing on his feet. He leaned against the tree briefly when his head began to spin.

The Kaiser held up his hands, in a defeated fashion. "I saw what you were doing; I want to know why. For some reason, I want to help you, and I really think I could."

Yamato laughed bitterly. "Why would you help me? What do you really want _Kaiser_?" Yamato spit the last part, backing up in defense, his arms raised to fight with. He felt another head rush, and one hand went up to slow the spinning in his head.

"You're obviously in no condition to fight. Considering how easily beaten you usually are, I don't want to fight; it'd be unfair. You are having problems, and it seems no one else can help you. I wish to help; I believe I could be of great service. Come with me, and just talk; maybe you'll feel better." With his hands still in the air, the Kaiser took another step towards Yamato, who in turn took a step back, stumbling over a branch.

"Why should I believe you?" Yamato mumbled His hands fell, however, and he let the Kaiser get closer.

"Here," the Kaiser said, slowly moving up to pull off his goggles. "I'll show you who I am. If I ever double cross you, you can go ahead and tell your little digibrat friends who I am." With a flourish of his hand, he pulled off his goggles.

Yamato gasped, his mouth hanging open. "Ich- Ichijouji Ken? That's who's under there?" He asked, still in disbelief. Ken nodded, taking another couple of steps closer, until he was directly in front of Yamato. "Why do you want to help me? I'm a chosen child; we're technically enemies." Yamato whispered, "Besides… I'm not worth helping. I've tried once, and look how long that lasted." He waved the knife in the air, and grimaced at the blood on it, quickly wiping it off on his undershirt.

"Truthfully, I don't know why I want to help you. I don't like you, or any of the chosen. I guess maybe you just remind me of my brother. Or not; I don't know. The thing is, I want to help. Will you accept my offer?"

Yamato shook his head. "How can I-"

"Yamato?" A voice called out. Both heads looked around. "Yamato!" The voice called again. Takeru was looking for him. Yamato winced; that meant someone knew he was missing. Ken walked up to him and handed him a slip of paper.

"In case you change your mind." He then jumped into a tree and disappeared among the leaves. Yamato stood looking at the paper- it had an address and a phone number, nothing else. He pocketed it quickly.

"I'm over here, Takeru." He called, walking back towards his little brother's voice. He looked over his shoulder one more time, but saw no sign of the Kaiser. He shook his head. "Offering to help me? That's an all time low… I wonder what he's up to."

"Yamato!" Takeru said, once they finally found each other. "Where did you go?"

"Got separated from all of you at the last control spire; took a wrong turn. I've been following your signal, sorry to scare you." He said, looking again at the trees to see just a flash of purple and blue. He shook his head and followed Kari, Takeru, and their digimon back to the gate.

* * *

A/n: And that's all I feel like writing. I have to go work on my other fanfiction anyhow. I'll see everyone next chapter, yah? Read and Review to tell me what you think. Sorry for the incredibly slow update! Both my Beta and I were extremely busy, but it's here, and hopefully after this the updating will go faster. You Digimon fans are lucky. You missed my month and a half of writer's block. My Death Note fanfic is at a complete standstill because of it.

1) I like Mimi a lot, if you haven't noticed. Every fanfiction she's in, she and Yamato are very good friends. So just fair warning to anyone who doesn't like her: she'll be in here a lot.


	3. Heavy Blows

A/n: I'm baack, with the next installment, thanks to my wonderful beta Akiino. Also, Thank you to my reviewers: Akira Nishikawa, Princess21, 17, and chrono-contract, and also thank you to WisdomWriter25, susumi, 17 and chrono-contract for fav./ alerting this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon. I do own this plot, and any OC's, although I don't think that any will appear. I think it'll be strictly Digimon character's for this one.

* * *

Yamato had known this was coming for more than three weeks- after seeing Taichi at the meeting he'd known it would only be a matter of time before the brunette arrived at his doorstep. They hadn't talked since the day Yamato had kicked him out of his apartment- Yamato had been hoping to keep it that way. Unfortunately, Taichi now stood outside his door. Yamato stood just inside the doorjamb looking out at him. "What do you want?" he asked, scoffing at the flowers in Taichi's hands. "Do I look like a girl?" he added scathingly.

Tai smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought they said 'I'm sorry'," Tai said, holding the white roses out to Yamato, who scoffed and ignored them. Tai hesitated slightly before continuing, "Look, I just want to talk about what happened. This problem you have with me is messing up the team. You need to resolve your anger so we can keep fighting against the Kaiser."

Yamato's eyes flashed back to the memory of his last trip to the digital world. The promise the Kaiser had made. He pushed his thoughts back, and glared at Taichi, who offered up the roses once more, he wanted to talk? 'This'll be good' Yamato though. Without a word, he turned on his heels and walked back to his 'room' in the living room.

Tai waited at the doorjamb, unsure of whether to go in or not. Deciding that Yamato would have slammed the door on him if he wasn't in the mood to talk, Tai continued into the room. He sat in the chair across from Yamato's bed and waited, staring at Yamato. Subconsciously Yamato started to scratch his arm again wincing inwardly when he hit a still fresh scar. He saw Tai's eyes flash from his arm, back to his face.

"Well, you wanted to talk, so talk" Yamato growled, and pulled his hand away from his arm. He hadn't noticed he'd picked the habit of scratching back up, until Akira asked him during band practice what he was doing. Taichi seemed to regain himself, and looked back at Yamato.

"Right, well, what I did was really stupid an-

"Gee y'think?" Yamato asked sarcastically his voice filled with malice. Taichi glared at him, cleared his throat and continued like Yamato hadn't said anything.

"I wanted to apologize. It was stupid of me to start cheating on you." Tai said.

Yamato felt his heart soften; maybe it was worth listening to Taichi. Maybe he was actually here to make up. Maybe he wasn't a bastard.

"I should have broken up with you before getting involved with Sora."

Ouch.

Yamato's eyes flashed anger, and he stood, making his way back over to the door. "_Maybe_, Tai," he said, opening said door, "You shouldn't have asked me out in the first place, if you liked Sora; you should have chosen her instead of hurting me. You know I really liked you at one point. Did you ever feel anything for me?"

Tai opened his mouth to respond, but seeing the look on Yamato's face made him stop. "I'm truly sorry." Was all he said before he got up and walked out Yamato's door. He stopped in the hallway and turned back briefly. "I really screwed up- I understand that… but you're still my best friend. If you can find some way to forgive me, call me up; I'd like to still be there for you." (1)

Yamato rolled his eyes and shut the door without a response. He went back over to his bed and sat down. He was feeling numb again. Slipping his hand in his pocket he pulled out his knife, along with a small slip of paper. He looked at it curiously and opened it.

The address that Ke- the Kaiser had written down peered back up at him. Tears of frustration welled in his eyes, as he thought of what he had said to the Kaiser. He wasn't going to cut anymore. He'd made that promise to himself. He couldn't go back now… could he? He stared at the paper and the knife, both of them overwhelming his senses. Which to choose?

"Yamato!"

He jumped, and quickly pocketed his knife and the paper, just at Takeru and Daisuke came through the door Taichi had previously left. "Hey, Takeru, Daisuke; what's up? I thought you two were going on a date today."

"We were, but… Well we wanted to know, what happened between Taichi and you. Not to bring up bad memories, but were we right? Was he cheating on you?" Daisuke asked, sitting down on Yamato's makeshift bed.

"Yes."

"With who?" Takeru said, taking his place next to his boyfriend, eagerness in his eyes.

"Not that it matters but… Sora." Yamato said, his hand moving to scratch his arm.

Takeru's eyes flickered briefly, he shifted uncomfortably, and grabbed Daisuke's arm.

"We should really go; Dai has an- appointment. Gotta run; sorry Yama!" Takeru said, bolting.

"Ow… Take' I thought you wanted to hang out with him?" Daisuke questioned, as he was dragged towards the door.

Takeru stopped and looked back at his brother, and then to his boyfriend. "I think we're bothering him with the questions. Let's leave." Takeru hastily pulled Daisuke the rest of the way out of the door, letting it shut on its own.

"My own brother's uncomfortable with me," Yamato muttered, tears welling in his blue eyes. "I'm such a loser." He whispered, bringing his knees to his chest. He slipped his hand into his pocket, and pulled out his knife. The paper slipped out, and flitted down to the ground, forgotten.

! (2)

"Takeru, slow down!" Daisuke whined, pulling his arm back from the tight grip of his fleeing boyfriend. He leaned against the apartment complexes wall to catch his breath. He watched his boyfriend stop suddenly and double back towards him.

"Daisuke, I just can't be in there- c'mon, let's go." he said, tugging on Dai's shirt.

"You're uncomfortable with your own brother, but he's your idol, your friend-

"Exactly what kind of an example is he setting? Why is this happening again?! He's supposed to be strong. Why isn't he being strong? Dai, what's wrong with him?! Where'd my brother go?! Why isn't he himself anymore?" Tears of anger leaked out of his eyes. Takeru looked down at the ground, trying to hide his emotions- a skill he'd picked up from his older brother.

Daisuke took a step back in shock; this was a younger Takeru he was seeing; the one confused about his brother's actions; the one that never understood. "Takeru, you have to help your brother through this. He needs you to be strong for him. No one can be that tough, they need to break down once in a while-

"He never has! He's always been strong. Until- why? What happened, he hated weakness and never showed it!"

"He's always gone to someone else to be his rock: Taichi, Sora, one of the older children. This time, I think he needs you. He never showed the weakness to you because you were too little, and couldn't handle him being afraid. You're older Takeru; you need to help him. You can't run from-

"…Well I'm going to. He's not my brother. I don't know what's wrong, but mom said he wasn't right after the last time. I can't help him, if he chooses to be this weak." Takeru said, walking away. (3)

Daisuke sighed, and followed behind.

!

Yamato sniffed, and looked down around him. Blood dripped off his fingertips as he closed the knife. He set it on the couch's arm rest. He'd made a mess again, and still he felt nothing. He stood and bundled the sheets together, carrying them towards the laundry room. He loaded them quickly, and left to change his clothing. Re-entering the laundry room, he added his dirtied clothes to the load. He closed the machine, and sat watching it vibrate for a bit, before turning back and heading out into the living room. He came across his mother, sitting at the kitchen table with the knife he'd left. She looked up as he entered the room.

"Oh, Yamato..." She said quietly. She got up to hug him, but he jerked away. Noticing the paper on the ground, he grabbed it, then ran to the table, grabbed the knife and bolted out of the door, and away from the apartment.

He laughed bitterly as he walked down the streets. It was raining. He hated the rain. It washed everything away; tried to make you forget; tried to cleanse your feelings. He didn't want to be cleansed and he didn't want to forget- he just wanted to feel. He pulled out the paper the Kaiser had given to him, and stared at the address blankly. The rain water made the ink drip. "…Can I really trust you?" he asked the paper, receiving no reply. He sighed and headed towards the bus station that would take him to Tamachi.

!

"Ken honey, there's a blonde boy here for you!" Ken's mother yelled out, her voice high and sweet. Ken groaned and paused in his typing. _I don't know any- wait. _He made his way to the door of his room, and sure enough, out in the hallway with his mother was Ishida Yamato, soaked to the bone and shivering.

"Thanks, Mama." he said, moving out of his doorway to allow the blond access. "You actually came? What happened; I though it was a 'one time deal?'" Ken hissed, closing his door behind him and Yamato. Yamato turned to him, and simply pulled up his sleeve. Ken gasped in shock, staring at the bloodied mess of interwoven cuts. "Yamato…" His voice cracked.

!

"How are you now? Have the doctors discovered what was wrong with you?" Natsuko asked, her voice full of polite concern.

"Yeah, it was just a bad case of bronchitis; I'll be fine. They have me on medication now, and I'm doing better." Hiroki answered his ex-wife. "How's Yamato doing?"

"Worse than last time; being here isn't helping him… He's run off – I hope to a friend's house. If he's not back by tomorrow, I'll call someone… I think he needs to go back to you. He's rejecting me, and if he doesn't have someone-

"He needs someone else; he rejected me too, remember? I think he's still mad at us for divorcing- maybe he should see that councilor or whatever again."

"I don't know; maybe. What if that doesn't work: are we going to send him to-?"

"We'll have to."

* * *

1: I'd forgive him… but then again... he's my fourth favorite character. (BTW, the order is Yama, Ken, Dai, and Tai… if you were wondering...)

2: Scene and point of view change.

3: Just so people don't hate Takeru here: he's confused and worried. He's not going to be that much of a jackass throughout this; he's just venting right now.

A/n: I'm at a cross roads. It's up to you reviewers really. I can either keep Ken the Kaiser, or have him turn good. I have a plot line for both. So, which one would you guys like to see? Or would you like both? Review and let me know!


	4. Caught

A/N: Here I am again. Last time I asked if you guys wanted Kaiser or Ken. All the responses leaned towards Ken. So I think he'll be good! Whee. Thanks to my awesomely amazing beta chrono-contract who will be betaing my stories for Digimon from now on. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. For this story to work, no matter how much I hate this, I have to use the American ages. So, when Yamato started cutting he would have been in middle school instead of in elementary school. It pains me so, but the story doesn't make sense if I don't do that. Everything else will stick to the Japanese version, like Yamato and Takeru' being whole brothers instead of half, and Joe and Iori's crest being sincerity instead of reliability. Thank you to my reviewers: Chrono-contract, Akira Nishikawa,andPrincess21, and thank you Chrono- contract, DeathNote-SilentShadow,andKoratah for fav/added either my self, or this story. I would also like to add that last chapter pansy. Andy 17 reviewed, but didn't get a proper thanks because for some reason fan fiction didn't like the name and took it out of my authors note. So now I'm spreading it out really far to see if it stays… if it doesn't you are all looking at the number 17 right now thinking I'm crazy… but that's OK... because I am crazy.

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon. This is obvious because I would have lots of money and the show would have turned out differently.

"Sit." Ken said calmly regaining his composure.

He left Yamato standing and glided through the door. Yamato blinked and looked at the bed. It was pristine; clean white linen lined the form of the bed perfectly, not one single wrinkle, not one corner out of place. He fidgeted, and remained standing, his stance awkward and self-conscious. Moments later Ken walked back through the door with a bucket of warm water, a towel, soap, and bandages. He looked at Yamato, and then back at his bed. "Sit, it's not going to bite." Yamato's face lit up with pink patches, and he dropped his head mumbling something behind his hair. "What was that?" Ken moved closer to Yamato trying to hear the soft voice.

"I'm wet." Yamato breathed out; stiffening at the proximity the Kaiser had moved to. Ken rolled his eyes, and gently pushed on Yamato's forehead, the boy fell gracefully onto the bed.

"When I say sit, you sit." Ken said he held up his hand to stop the words forming on Yamato's lips. "I don't care if you are wet. Just sit." He knelt next to Yamato and reached for one of his arms. Yamato jerked back violently.

"What are you doing?" Blue eyes looked at the Kaiser with confusion and suspicion. Ken sighed and let his head fall against Yamato's knees.

"I'm going to clean and bandage you're arms. I promise that's all. No evil Kaiser plan. No diabolical scheme. Not anything, just bandages. I swear." Yamato hesitated, but put his arm back out. The Kaiser grabbed it gently and rolled up the sleeve. He used the rag to gently wash off the blood and wrapped the arm. He grabbed the other one and repeated the process. Yamato watched blankly the whole time.

"I'm assuming because you are wet, that no one knows where you are. Would you like to use our phone? You can even spend the night if you do not wish to go home." Yamato nodded silently, and Ken got up again, brining everything out with him.

Yamato heard the Kaiser softly talking to his mother, before padded footsteps brought the bluenette back in front of him. Ken handed him the phone, and Yamato dialed the number.

"Hey, M-Takeru? Oh hey….. No I'm fine… I just don't like mom… I know, I know. Is she there? ….Oh? I see…. Tell her I'm staying at a friend's house tonight… you don't know them… no they aren't from my band… NO! It doesn't matter. Goodbye." Yamato hung the phone up and handed it back to Ken, his eyes faltered back to the ground.

"Now that that is taken care of, want to explain the cuts?" Ken asked his voice hushed Yamato looked up at him and bit his lip.

"I wouldn't know where to start with that."

"Try the beginning."

"Well, it started when….

Takeru hung the phone up; staring at it like it was an alien. He shook his head and went back over to the couch, sitting next to Daisuke.

"Who was it?" Dai asked, reaching over Takeru to get popcorn, without taking his eyes off of the T.V. screen. After the encounter with Yamato, Takeru had dragged Daisuke around the park until his anger had worn off. Then they made their way back to the apartment, only to find no Yamato and a note from his mother that said Yamato's run off, and she had gone shopping.

"Yama, he said he's staying at a friend's house."

"What friend? Akira?" more popcorn moved in front of Takeru's line of vision. The blonde continued to stare foreword, making as little movement as possible, and opened his mouth to respond.

"No, he said I didn't know who they were."

"Don't you know all of Yamato's friends?" More popcorn moved.

"Yep"

"So you think he's lying?" another handful of popcorn moved by, Takeru's eye twitched in annoyance.

"Yep"

"And you didn't call him on it?" one piece of popcorn fell out of Daisuke's hand and landed on Takeru's knee

"Nope"

"Are you going to try and talk to Yamato about his cutting?" a few more pieces joined the first, and Takeru batted the popcorn out of Daisuke's hand. The brunette blinked and watched it scatter across the room.

"Nope"

"Do you want me to drop the subject and just watch the movie?" Daisuke asked, taking the hint from the popcorn. Takeru nodded, not bothering to respond and batted away Daisuke's hand when he went for the popcorn for the seventh time.

"It all began when I was a lot younger, around seventh grade, right before the summer when us original seven went to the digital world. I had been picked on my entire life, because of my blonde hair and blue eyes, and every time I went home and told my dad about it, my dad would tell me to just brush it off, and ignore them. He'd tell me not to feel the pain and it wouldn't hurt so badly. So I started doing that, ignoring the pain, bottling up my anger. I became a loner, and no one could touch me.

"But, it became too much. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I didn't want to do anything anymore, I stopped writing music, hanging out with the few people I considered friends, stopped doing my homework. The works. I didn't start cutting until late in my seventh grade year. It had happened by accident too. I had been preparing dinner for my dad and I, and I accidentally sliced open my finger. I couldn't feel the pain, and I began to panic. My dad found me, and I explained what had happened, and he took me to the hospital and I got stitches (1)." Yamato held up the middle finger on his left hand and Ken could see the light impression of four stitches lining the side of his finger.

"I was still scared though, I mean, I hadn't felt anything and the knife had sliced through my skin. It was like a magnet, I had to try again. I felt like I was drowning in a life with no feeling. So, I nicked my dad's pocket knife, and cut my arm. The feeling I got was immense, and almost immediate. It was something I hadn't felt in a very long time. It was pain, but it was sweet and justified. After that, every time I slipped back into my mask, I'd just cut, and all emotion would come flooding back. It was my drug."

"Soon after that my father found out, and sent me to the summer camp because he thought I was cutting because he divorced Natsuko. He thought I just needed time with Takeru. Then I went to the digital world, and met Tai, we fought constantly, we won against the darkness in the digital world, went home, my parents sent me to counseling, and then Tai and I started dating. I finally let go of the knife, because he made me feel. He got me to follow my emotions. Then you know the rest- or should anyhow." Yamato finished, his eyes lifting briefly to look into Ken's grey eyes, and then they fell back to the floor.

"I understand." Ken said, he reached out gently and wiped a tear off of Yamato's cheek. Yamato blinked in surprise he hadn't realized he'd been crying. "I mean, I don't really understand, only you truthfully understand because I'm not you, but I see what you're so scared of. You can't just let yourself believe that the only reason you need to cut is because Tai's out of your life and you still don't know how to feel. Tai wasn't the one who made you feel. You were. You just didn't realize it. I want you to do two things for me. Give me the knife, and accept Tai's apology."

"I won't give you the knife. I need it." Yamato's eyes flashed with fear, and he put his hand against his jean pockets protectively. "You can't have it." Yamato stood to leave, but Ken caught his hand.

"All right. Don't give me the knife, but don't leave. It won't do you any good to run from me. I will follow you. I will help you with this."

"Why are you even helping me? I'm a waist of space. My own brother doesn't want to help me, my ex never liked me. My parents think I'm a burden. Why help me. Is it because you think I'll help you in the digital world? What is your angle?" even as he said it, Yamato knew that he didn't actually believe that. The questions had left his mouth before he could stop them. Ken's eyes flashed an emotion that Yamato couldn't place, and Yamato felt a sting across his face. His hand rose to his cheek, the burning sensation filling him.

Ken had hit him.

"I don't know why I'm helping you. The digital world has nothing to do with it. I just am helping you. It's late. If you aren't going to give me that knife, then I suggest we go to bed. After all, I have a feeling that the digibrats are going to want to have a meeting tomorrow.

Yamato bit his lip. He felt guilt eat away at him. He hadn't meant to offend the Kaiser. He shook his head violently. He shouldn't be thinking that. Just because the Kaiser was acting kindly didn't mean that he was any nicer or deserved pity. Yamato rubbed his head and groaned. He looked up surprised when clothing was thrown on top of him.

"You don't expect to sleep in that, do you?" Ken asked raising a single eyebrow. "Anyway, I'll be on the couch if you need me. You can have that bed." Yamato nodded silently, and waited to change until Ken had left the room. He shut off the lights, and shuffled into the bed. The last thing on his mind was the smell of Ken's pillow.

* * *

"So where did you say you were last night?" Takeru asked, walking along side his brother in the digital world. Patamon had flown up ahead to talk to Veemon and Daisuke. Yamato's eye twitched, but he answered his brother anyway.

"I told you at a friend's house. Why does it matter?"

"Because you're wearing the same clothing as yesterday and you smell different. Like, not like you. Were you-"

"No I wasn't." Yamato sped up suddenly trying to lose his brother, and the never ending rain of questions. Taking the blatant hint, Takeru scoffed but ran up to catch up with Daisuke. Yamato sighed, when he saw Taichi look back for the hundredth time, and he waved him back. Tai blinked and pointed at himself, surprised. Yamato nodded, and Tai stopped walking allowing Yamato to catch up with him.

"I just wanted to say, I want to take you up on your offer of friendship."

"Ok. Not that I'm not happy about that but what brought this about? The other day you were pretty mad."

"I was but someone gave me some pretty good advice on the situation, and I changed my mind. Sorry I was so harsh, but I mean, you did deserve it." Yamato looked over at the brunette who was smiling sadly. He gave a small laugh.

"I really did, didn't I? I'm surprised you didn't' kick my ass. I would of. So… friends?" Taichi stuck out his hand. Yamato smiled softly and took it.

"Friends"

"Well isn't that just a touching sight. Don't you think so Wormmon?" A snide voice asked, his words dripping with sarcasm. Taichi wiped around. Sure enough, sitting on the shoulder of a Tyrannamon, was none other than the Kaiser himself.

"Why do you always have to ruin our good days?" Daisuke asked, his face heating up in anger. "Why can't just for once, you come on a rotten day, so we can kick your butt and feel better!"

"Then I miss these touching moments like these. I can't come and _check_ up on my favorite little people?" The Kaiser asked looking at his gloved finger's like there was dirt under his nails.

"We'd rather you didn't just _drop_in unexpectedly." Yamato said scathingly. He'd caught the double meaning of Ken's words, but the fact the boy was here at all irked him. He didn't need to be babysat.

"Tsk, too bad I like having my own plans! Tyrannamon attack!" with a final look at Yamato, Ken jumped off the digimon and disappeared into the woods.

"I'm going after him." Yamato said suddenly, "Gabumon, I know you will think it's dangerous but stay here. The others might need you." Without further discussion the blonde bolted, and took off into the woods after the Kaiser.

"Oh good you did follow me. I was so hoping you would." Ken appeared from behind a tree. Yamato whipped around to face him.

"What's with this-

"I figured we should try to keep up appearances. You don't want your little friends to know you've been talking to the Digimon Kaiser do you?"

"Well duh that's not what I meant. Why are you checking up on me? I don't need a baby sitter I'm perfectly capable of-

"Mmhmm, and that's why I've now seen you twice with bleeding wrists. Give it a rest Yamato. You don't need that mask with me." Ken moved so he was directly in front of Yamato. "I can see through you. I can feel your emotions." He gently ran his hand down Yamato's forearm. "I may not know them exactly but I know them well enough to try and help." Yamato flinched back from the closeness of Ken.

"But-

"Yamato? What are you doing with him?" both boys whipped around at the voice.

* * *

A/n: Well, I need to go finish the next chapter of my death note fic. See you guys in chapter five. It may take awhile. My Forensics season is just getting into full swing and I'm going to be doubled entered this year in Public Address and Special Occasions. I'll try to update soon though.

(1) I actually had stitches on that finger… Not from cutting myself with a knife. I actually stuck my finger in a garage door.


	5. Tension

A/n: Chapter five. I'm not sure how far this'll go chapter wise, I have at least three more planned out without an ending yet, so probably at least four or five more chapters' I'd say. Who knows though? I have sort of two stories planned for this. I may just break it up into this story, and then have a sequel. We'll see. The beginning of this chapter is right away after Yamato ran into the woods, so this is what happened while Yamato and Ken were chatting. Anyhow without any further ado, I give you; Tension. Just a reminder, this will be Ken x Yamato at the end; however there will be plenty of Kaiser X Yamato coming up. Not necessarily in this chapter but the ones to follow defiantly. Thank you to my beta chrono-contract for looking at my story, and finally thank you to Angel of the Damned and DaiWolf for adding my story story-alert and to the favorite story list. Thanks too Akira Nishikawa, and chrono-contract  for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Never have, never will. I do own any random original character's that may show up but thus far, none have, so I don't expect any will.

* * *

"Yama- Shit" Taichi cursed, as the blonde took off running and disappeared into the woods. Tai turned and ran to re- group with his digimon, looking back to see Gabumon go running into the woods after Yamato despite the warning not too. He stopped in front of Takeru, as the battle raged on around them. Something in his face must have triggered Takeru.

"Tai where is my brother?" The younger blonde questioned, ducking just as a branch went flying over his head and into the stomach of a Tyrannamon. Taichi bit his lip, and scratched the back of his head. How to phrase this carefully and considerately so that Takeru doesn't blow up?

"Uh, about that… He kind of took after the Kaiser." Takeru's eyes grew huge and his mouth dropped. Tai winced inwardly. That hadn't been the best way to break the news to Takeru. "Takeru Loo-

"Someone has to go after him." Takeru said frantically searching for his digimon. "Pegasmon!"(1) The flying horse in question circled around

"Little busy Takeru, I'm sorry." Pegasmon answered, flying back towards the Tyrannamon. "Silver Blaze!" The green light illuminated the battlefield momentarily, and Daisuke sped up to the two.

"I'll go Take; I'm out of the battle anyhow. Veemon and I will be back in a jiffy!" Daisuke said, running in the same direction as Yamato and his digimon. Veemon followed closely behind.

"G-Gabumon," Yamato stuttered, looking slack-jawed at his digimon that stood a few feet away. The Kaiser hesitated, looking as if he was weighing his flight or fight choices. Gabumon answered the question for him however, bounding up beside Yamato, and growling.

"You make one move Kaiser and I'll end you. Yamato let's get away from him. Nothing good can come out of someone so corrupt." The digimon grabbed Yamato's hand and pulled him away slightly, only to fall backwards, as Yamato's feet wouldn't move.

"Wait, Gabumon it's not what it seems. The Kaiser is helping me-

"Helping? He's destroying my home and you say he's helping? What's gotten into you?" Gabumon asked, his eyes blazing, anger welling through him. Yamato's head fell, and he shuffled his feet.

"I know it sounds crazy-"Yamato's voice broke slightly when Gabumon scoffed at the remark, "but, he's really actually helping. I don't know, why. You are probably correct; he'll probably double cross me." Yamato paused, and glanced at Ken, to see annoyance in his eyes at the last statement. "But you once said you'd be there for me no matter what because that's what friends do. You said that no matter my choice you'd stick by my side. This is my choice. I choose to trust Ke- the Kaiser." Yamato said, taking a step back towards Ken.

Gabumon's eyes darkened, but the anger within them faded. He sighed, and moved closer to Ken. He motioned down, and the Kaiser knelt, so he was face to face with the furry creature. "I swear to everything here, if you do one thing that makes Yamato worse than he is now; I won't need a Digivice to take you down."

"You have my word." Ken said, holding out his hands in a gesture of peace. Gabumon looked back at Yamato and nodded once. A small smile split across the blondes face, and a sighed of relief broke out. "I must go though, Yamato, come by later if you need to talk, and you remember the address I hope?" Yamato nodded and the Kaiser disappeared behind a tree.

"We need a cover story." Yamato said blandly, kicking a clump of dirt by his foot. Gabumon gave a noncommittal grunt, still not happy about Yamato's choice in friends. A snap of a twig sounded from behind them.

"How about 'Daisuke came and saved our lives because we were trapped by the digimon emperor, whose evil and should never be trusted.'" Daisuke said, as Yamato and Gabumon turned to face him. Yamato opened his mouth to speak, but Daisuke held up his hand to silence him. "Or that 'Daisuke saved our asses by not telling the others that Yamato is in cahoots with our most evil enemy, and therefore Yamato will buy Daisuke chocolate to make up for the huge secret he is going to keep?'"

Yamato visibly swallowed, "Y-you heard the conversation I take it?" Daisuke nodded, and Yamato's face paled. "Daisuke I can-

"Don't. I understand. You need someone to talk to. Takeru isn't there because he's working out his own emotions, Taichi and Sora are out of the question, Mimi's in America, Jou would feel obligated to tell everyone; you aren't great friends with Miyako and Iori, Kari would tell her brother, and I… I tell everything to Takeru- except this of course- you don't have any one to vent to. Everyone needs that person. I won't tell. On a few conditions: You tell me who the Kaiser is, you let me know when you'll be talking to him, and you introduce me to him at his house. I only ask, because someone has to know where you are incase he does double cross you. You can even go consult with him. If he doesn't want to agree to these terms, than at least get him to agree to me knowing who he is, alright?" Daisuke asked.

Yamato nodded, and smiled in thanks.

"You know something Daisuke? Takeru's right. You aren't as dumb, or as stubborn as you appear. Maybe more of my qualities showed up in you then everyone thinks. I'll talk to the Kaiser and make sure he's alright with your terms. Let's go back to the others before they worry too much." Yamato said, moving to walk around Daisuke and back towards the way they headed. Daisuke nodded and followed behind, the two digimon walked after them.

"Don't you _ever_ do that again!" Taichi yelled his hands waving in the air like a mad man. They had returned to the computer lab at the middle school, and were currently sitting and staring at Yamato in disbelief for following the Kaiser like he had. Yamato's thoughts drifted mildly to how expressive of a parent Taichi would make as Tai continued on yelling how irresponsible and dangerous his stunt had been. "Are you listening to me?" Taichi said at long last. Yamato looked up to see Tai and the rest of the chosen children staring at him.

"Um, no?" He said. There was no reason to lie. It wouldn't get him anywhere. Besides Taichi liked to hear himself talk, so this would really just be another excuse for the boy to. Yamato watched in mild amusement, at the slowly reddening face of his best friend. He also noted how Daisuke shook his head in the background. Obviously Yamato had missed something important.

"I had asked what possessed you to do something so stupid as to run after our enemy in a blind rage. It seems pretty stupid." Yamato bristled at the words. He knew Taichi had no clue of the real reason that he was following Ke- the Kaiser, but it still irked him how his so called "friends" could ignore his problems.

"I felt like it. Kinda like you and Sora." He spat back. Both Sora and Taichi winced at his words, and Tai's face showed pure hurt. Yamato regretted the words moments after he said them, a vial taste filling his mouth. Taichi became calm and collected; a mask similar to Yamato's covering his face.

"I thought we were past the snide comments. Are you really going to start that all up again? I thought we had resolved this." Taichi said, his voice lowering almost as if he didn't want everyone in the room to hear their conversation. Yamato bit his lip. He had forgiven Taichi. The need to throw the facts back in his face had been to overwhelming to not use. For some reason he had wanted to hurt Taichi.

Instead of answering he stood up and abruptly left the room. Concerned calls followed him, but he was already down the hallway and out the door before anything the others said had registered with him. He found himself in a public bathroom, his sleeve pulled up, flesh exposed, and a knife in his hands. A tear fell out of his eyes. He felt numb. The knife fell, and as the pain exploded, a single image of Ken standing in the woods smirking at him filled his senses.

He dropped the knife and cried into his hands. Blood and tears mixed together and slid up his arms. Slowly the tears subsided, and he picked his knife back up. Dry eyed he walked out of the stall and out into the street.

"So, Daisuke found us out? Of all people" Ken said, his feet hanging down off of his bed. Yamato nodded absentmindedly, resting his head on the back of the swivel chair he currently sat in near Ken's computer.

"He wants to know who you are, and where you live incase you decide to double cross me. He said he wanted to meet you in person so that someone can know where I am and cover for me." Yamato said his voice drained of much of the energy it had previously held. Ken eyed him carefully but waited for him to spill his problems forcing them out of the blonde would get him no where. Ken nodded and Yamato then looked at him with interest.

"That's a good idea, why not call him now, he's got a very good point. I mean, I'm not going to do anything but the best way to gain your trust is to let the boy come." Yamato nodded, not paying attention to most of what Ken went on about. He pulled out his cell phone moments later and dialed Daisuke's number.

"Hey, you busy right now? …Good, I have someone who wants to meet you… yeah, the address is 314 apartment complex 65, Tamachi (2)… yeah Tamachi. That's where he lives… Just come." Yamato said, Ken waited patiently for the blonde to finish, after Yamato hung up however, he still neglected to tell Ken what was wrong. The wait for Daisuke was met in complete silence. Finally there was a knock at the door. Yamato got up to answer it.

"Hey, come in. Now, don't be too surprised by who it is ok? Just go with it." Ken heard only a muffled reply before footsteps padded back towards his door, which opened slowly and Yamato peaked in first before coming fully into the room followed by an overcurious brunet. Daisuke's jaw dropped.

"Y-you are the Kaiser?" He asked; his disbelief evident. Ken nodded, for the first time in his life, unsure of what to say at the situation at hand. Daisuke simple laughed and shook his head. "What would the others do if they knew" Both Yamato and Ken stiffened, and Daisuke looked startled before correcting himself. "I mean, it's not like I'm going to tell them. I just find it funny. Miyako has the biggest crush on you Ken. I think she may go on a murdering rampage when- if she finds out that you are in fact her greatest enemy." Daisuke gave a small laugh and rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably.

"Miyako? That annoying purple haired girl? (3)" Ken asked, his head cocked in wonder, both Yamato and Daisuke nodded in agreement. Yamato's hand absentmindedly went down to his arm, and he started to scratch his newly acquired scars. Both Ken and Daisuke noticed the action. Daisuke looked up to Ken, and mouthed 'Talk to him'. Ken gave him a weird look and Daisuke jumped up from where he had chosen to sit.

"I just remembered I left Demiveemon at home. I'd better go before Jun discovers him and he bites her fingernails thinking they're mandarin oranges!" with that the brunet was up and out of the room. Ken stared after him with his eye brow raised.

"Mandarin oranges? What could possible posses anyone to think a finger is a mandarin orange?" Ken asked looking at Yamato. Yamato gave a small chuckle.

"You've never fully been introduced to Demiveemon have you? Plus I'm sure Jun has gone on some new fashion craze and has orange nail polish now." Yamato answered falling back down into his chair letting out a laugh. Ken smiled slightly.

"You seem to know your friends well" He commented, watching with curiosity as the smile on Yamato's face faltered and fell.

"You'd think" Yamato said, his voice dead and monotone again. He pushed himself up from the chair, and turned toward the wall. Ken raised his eyebrow again.

"Would I? Does this have anything to do with why you were cutting again?" Ken asked, Yamato whipped around poised and ready to deny the claim. "I'm a genius, Yamato, remember? You were scratching at your scars, and they started bleeding. Want to talk about it?"

"No"

"Ok, are you going to spend the night again tonight? My mom wants to know how much she should make for dinner." Yamato nodded slightly, and walked out of the room.

"I'm going to call my mom and tell her." Yamato mumbled entering the living room and grabbing the phone. He dialed and waited for it to pick up. "Hey mom, yeah I'm staying out again. I'll be home some time tomorrow."

A few days later, Yamato found himself back with the chosen children, going over an attack that would seriously hurt the Kaiser's plans. Yamato found he was almost reluctant to help with the plan they were devising. The tension in the room was so thick even Taichi's mother who had come in to bring them all snacks had stiffened at the uncomfortable silence in between the talking. It seemed that now more than ever everyone around Yamato was treading on thin shells about to break. Yamato thought again to the plan and what it involved. It was risky and dangerous, but if it worked then everyone would know who the Kaiser really was.

"This plan is going to take everyone's help. Not a single person can fail without everyone else going down. Basically it's the Kaiser against us, and we will be strong as long as everyone is doing their parts." Taichi said his eyes fixed on Yamato. Yamato stared back, his blue eyes meeting brown.

Taichi's plan was simple.

A single person would be captured by the digimon emperor. That way they could track his base by the Digivices. Then, the rest of the team would move in, apprehend The Kaiser, and free the 'captive' and once in for all figure out whom the enemy really was.

"Alright, time to draw straws to figure out who the 'captive' is." Taichi said, pulling out eleven straws. One by one, five of the other children pulled out longer straws. Taichi held out the remaining six straws to Yamato. Slowly Yamato reached foreword and grabbed the straw. It came out to quickly ending abruptly. Lucky him. He drew the short straw.

His choice was clear, but unfortunately complicated. He either had to warn Ken, and save his secret, or let himself be captured and betray Ken. A few weeks ago this choice would have been easy. Now, however, after everything that had happened. Ken would trust Yamato completely, and fake kidnap him if he saw the opportunity to keep up his appearance. Just as Yamato would go through with the plan. The only question was, could Yamato betray someone who he trusted, and felt safe with… for people that he was slowly slipping away from and losing all his loyalties to?(4)

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1: English version Pegasusmon. Basically the same thing really, but the Japanese version is shorter.

2: I think this sounds pretty real…. If it doesn't I've never lived in apartments so I don't exactly know how you give people the addresses to them…

3: Not trying to bash Miyako or anything. I actually quite like her, however I do believe at one point in the series the Kaiser (Not Ken…) voices a dislike for her... but I could be wrong.

A/n: And that's where I'm leaving it. See you guys in chapter six.


	6. Release

**A/n:** Slight Kaiser and Yamato fluff. I've been very discrete I feel about these two and their feelings for each other. Most of my hinting has been subliminal. It's all going to be out in the open now. Doesn't that sound fun? Italics are flashbacks. Just so you guys know the entirety of the first five chapters is about four months in total of Yamato and Ken being in their relationship. Thank you to chrono-contract for editing my story. Thanks also to my reviewrs: chrono-contract, Akira Nishikawa, and Sumi19.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own digimon. Never have, never will. I own only the random characters I throw in there, if I do.

**Important:** Eventually this story will end. I have a few ideas of what I want to post next. However I don't know exactly which I want to do. I'll have summaries at the bottom of this chapter, and I'll throw up a poll in my profile for people to vote. I'll probably end up writing both of them; however, I don't know which I should do first.

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Ken sat idly on Yamato's bed watching said boy murmur and pace back and forth. Even though it was potentially dangerous for him to be over here, the likely hood of him being caught was high; however, the blonde said it was an emergency. So far, hadn't said a thing. Yamato had been calling him over or showing up at his door for nearly two weeks without saying or doing anything, most of the time Ken sat in silence, watching Yamato who watched the floor. The only difference between today and the other days was Yamato's pacing. He hadn't actually spoken to Ken since the other had met Daisuke, and that had been nearly a month ago. Something was seriously up with the blonde. Just as Ken made up his mind to say something, Yamato stopped pacing and fell into his chair.

"I can't believe that ass." Yamato said, placing his head onto his hands.

Ken raised an eyebrow. Almost a month of silence and that's all he got? He waited patiently there had to be more. As expected, Yamato looked back up from the beige carpet, and huffed in annoyance.

"I mean, first he cheats on me, then he goes and pulls that 'I'm your leader' crap? Who does he think he is? He doesn't even know why I ran away, yet he thinks I'm going to get hurt. What a jerk! I know how to take care of myself. I'm not an idiot!" Ken remained silent as Yamato ranted, finding it pointless to point out the fact that the two of them were, in fact, enemies.

"And now he expects me to-"Yamato cut himself off and fell back against his chair. "I mean, why is it that only you, Daisuke, and Gabumon seem to care about what I want?" The blonde asked, looking over with his deep blue eyes at Ken.

"Yamato, the other chosen children do care. I'm sure they are all worried sick about you. I know you're hurt because of whatever Tai's doing, but he must think that you are only acting out because of what you two went through. It may not seem like it now, but the others will help you in their own way." Ken said, moving to meet Yamato's gaze. Blue eyes rolled.

"Yeah right, I'm sure they care." Yamato said, he rubbed his eyes, and looked back over to Ken. "I'm sure they care a lot. My own brother hasn't talked to me in nearly three weeks. D… do you know how that feels?" Yamato found himself in a tight embrace. He stiffened slightly, before letting his emotions take over, and accept the sign of comfort.

"Believe it or not I do Yamato. I know exactly what that feels like." Ken whispered, into Yamato's ear, stroking his hair softly. He gently planted a kiss on Yamato's cheek before backing off. "Before my brother died, we lost the bond we had shared I regret every moment that we lost together because of that." Ken knelt by the chair Yamato was sitting in. the two moved closer together. Yamato pulled away suddenly, the hurt look lost. He stood up and moved abruptly away.

"No, I can't go that far. You may be helping me but…"

"But what? Let it happen. What's the worst that could come of you liking me?" Ken asked, resuming his idle stare, however from the ground instead of from the bed. "I mean, we already have one secret. Why not two? It's not like anything drastic is going to change our minds in the next few weeks or whatever." **(1)**

"You are my enemy Ken; you hurt innocent digimon, and make them into slaves. No matter what I feel or what you do, in the end, it comes down to my morals, and what I believe." Yamato's pacing had started again, and violet eyes**(2)** watched him intently. Subconsciously under his gaze, Yamato began to scratch his arm. Ken stood and walked slowly to Yamato. He pushed his head up and forced blue eyes to meet violet. Yamato shifted uncomfortably under the gaze. Ken moved his head closer, and Yamato showed no resistance. A bang resounded through the air, both jumping apart, and looking to find Daisuke standing by the door.

"Do you really want to come in Takeru?" He asked teasingly. Ken saw a flash of blonde and quickly moved back to Yamato's bed.

"Dai, get out of my way! I want to put my stuff in my room, and Patamon wants to grab something before we leave for the meeting!" Daisuke moved out of the way, and both entered the room. While the younger blonde was heading to his room, Ken gave a look of thanks to Daisuke. That would have been an awkward conversation if Takeru would have seen him. He then turned to Yamato and gave a final stare, before putting on his shoes and hurrying out the door.

"Did you tell him about the plan?" Yamato jumped in surprise, looking over at Daisuke after he spoke. Yamato shook his head. "Why not?"

"I'm screwed either way. If I tell him, he'll give himself up. If I don't I'll betray him. I'm not interested in either option. I don't know what to do…" Yamato said his vision focused on the carpet once again. Daisuke opened his mouth to respond. He stopped as Takeru walked back into the room. An awkward silence filled the empty air. Takeru looked from Yamato to Daisuke.

"Wasn't there someone else here before I went to my room?" Takeru asked staring at the spot Ken had been sitting moments before. Daisuke nodded, but chose not to speak.

"Yeah, a friend of mine, he was leaving just as you arrived." Yamato said, standing up and stretching. Takeru made no sign of hearing him. Yamato hung his head, before commenting again. "Y'know. I'm kind of tired. I think I'll go to bed." He placed his hands in his pockets, and felt the smoothness of the blade that lay in wait as he wandered over to his makeshift bed and fell on top of it; Daisuke clicked his tongue, and moved to the bed.

"You can't do that. You slept through the chosen's meeting yesterday. We're discussing our _plan_and what we are going to do about our _problem_" Daisuke said, pulling Yamato back up. Begrudgingly, Yamato moved back up and made his way wearily behind the other two. The trip as so many before them remained silent, as they made their way to the Yagami house for the meeting.

Once there and assembled, the usual kind of discussion went on before Tai hit his climax and brought up 'the plan'.

"Alright guys, since Yamato has decided to grace us again, it's time we continued on our belated plan. Now, we don't know exactly what is in store for us once we infiltrate the Kaiser's base. He's ruthless; we won't know what he'll throw at us in there." Yamato winced at the words, his mind fluttering back to when he first visited the Kaiser's base. It had been only a week or two after he'd started talking to Ken and meeting with him secretly.

He had questioned Ken about the digimon slaves and his views on them, however Ken had coldly cut him off and told him that it was none of his business because that wasn't the reason he was there. After that day however, Yamato had noticed a decrease in the number of "digimon slaves" Ken had, and the different treatment of Wormmon. Yamato almost wondered if this change was because of him, or if he was just making it up. Yamato snapped out of his thoughts just in time to hear Tai finish up his speech on the Kaiser's castle. "Ok and we all agree that in two days we set operation 'downfall' into action." Yamato's head snapped up at that comment. Two days? …He had two days. Daisuke caught his look, but he averted it just as Daisuke mouthed the word "What?" He didn't need Dai asking him what he was going to do. He had no plans.

The meeting seemed to drag on as Yamato silently panicked over the problem at hand. All the while, two sets of eyes were on him. Daisuke's and Takeru's. Both boys had different looks, but they both still held the quality of determination. Finally after what seemed like hours, the meeting ended. Yamato stood to move, only to be pushed back down. He looked up to see Tai holding him down. Tai gave everyone else in the room a stare, and they scattered.

"We need to talk."

Daisuke hurried out of the chosen meeting, and down the hallway of Tai's apartment. He knew what he needed to do, however doing it went against everything the Digidestined stood for. He sighed, but continued on to his destination. The bus trip he went on took longer than anticipated, and he soon found himself mulling over what he would say.

What exactly do you say to someone when you are unraveling everything someone else important to you worked for? Slowly the bus pulled into Tamachi station. He made his way through the mass of people and to the building he so desired. Gently he knocked on the door. It opened, and the person at the door stared in shock

"Daisuke? What are you-?

"We need to talk." He said pushing his way past Ken and into the house.

"What about?" Yamato said, stretching back in his chair noting lazily how long it had been since he'd last seen this room. Nothing had changed yet, the entire atmosphere of the room was different then the last time Yamato and Taichi had been alone. Of course, that atmosphere had been hot and heavy…

"Are you fully with this plan? It seems that every time it's brought up you flinch or shy away from actually discussing it. It's as if everything just goes around you and you are just here for the ride- Don't you dare make another joke about anything either. Just answer me." Tai said, as Yamato opened his mouth. Giving him an irate look, Yamato though before opening his mouth to try and speak again.

"I'm perfectly fine with the plan, a bit scared, but fine. Don't worry. I'm sure everything will go off just as you planned it." Yamato said, his eyes rolling in annoyance. Taichi ignored his cold behavior, and nodded.

"Good, secondly, are we really alright? You say we are, but then you turn around and make those snide comments, or huff, or do any of your other little indications that tell me you are lying through your teeth. Look, I know I'm a bastard, but I'm good at reading you, I always have been." Tai said. Yamato sighed and leaned his head back against his chair. He just wanted to be home, with his knife, alone. After the day he had, this conversation was the last thing he wanted.

"Yeah, I'm ok I guess-"

"You guess?"

"Yeah I guess. I just need some time to adjust to it all. I'm sorry I haven't been doing to well with the acting myself and all. A lot has come up recently and it's just a little overwhelming." Yamato said, and as if he were giving a clue, he started to scratch at his arm. Taichi watched the motion, and sighed.

"That's another thing I've been meaning to ask, your cutting. How come-"

"That, I won't share with you. I'm sorry Tai, but not this time. It's great you are asking and everything but I just- not with you. Maybe when I get everything a bit more sorted out. But not now. I'm sorry." Yamato said, surprising himself as the words poured out. Not three hours ago, he was telling Ken not one of the chosen children cared and now here he was denying one of them the chance to care. He stood and made his way to the door.

"Fine, but when you are ready." Tai said, not moving to stop him from leaving. Yamato gave a slight nod, and headed out of the room, and then out of the apartment. The walk home was short but slow. He made his way up to his "bed" in the living room and fell across it. His hand slid into his pocket and the knife came with it.

"So you are saying that you chosen are planning a fake kidnapping? So that my identity can be reveled?" Ken said as he handed Daisuke a cup of tea. "Why are you telling me? I mean I understand why Yamato didn't, but why are you? Doesn't this defeat the whole purpose if I know?" Ken sat down across from Daisuke and watched him drink slowly.

After a minute of silence, Daisuke put down his cup and sighed. "I… I told you because you are supposedly a genius. I'm extremely worried about Yamato and his cutting. I know that everyone of the chosen is. The problem is, to us, Yamato is unapproachable. So far, only you can talk to him. Hence why I let you still meet with him after I found out. I thought that maybe, talking to you would knock some sense into him and he would go see a councilor, or whatever, to get help with this problem. That isn't working. Not that its' your fault or anything." Dai added hesitantly, afraid of offending the other boy,

"But something needs to be done and maybe this is the answer whatever you can come up with. Something that will satisfy every possible bad out come of the days to ahead, such as the others some how finding out about Yamato and you. A solution to avoid all of the uncertainties. They won't be as forgiving as I am, or understanding. Losing what friends he has now will severally damage Yamato." Daisuke looked down. "And, I know that even if he doesn't want to admit it. This will affect Takeru too. I know you may not care about digimon, or us other chosen, but Takeru is my boyfriend. I can't stand to see him hurt so badly, just as you can't stand to see Yamato so sad. Think about what you want to do with the information I just gave you. Thanks for the tea." Daisuke stood and made his way to the door, leaving a stunned Ken in his wake.

In two days, he would now have to have some brilliant plan.

Takeru walked into his house after almost an hour of skulking around town looking for Daisuke. Without any luck he was tired and crabby. Slowly he took his shoes off, and entered the house. What greeted him was a bloodied mess that he called his brother. A gasp escaped his mouth and he rushed to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit. He made his way back to Yamato, quickly setting to work. A hiss sounded from the elder blonde and his eyes shot open.

"Takeru-"

"Shut up." Takeru growled, surprising both of them. "I don't know why you do what you do, but after this whole mess with the Kaiser is over, we are sitting down and having a serious conversation. End of discussion. You can't keep going on like this, however; as much as I'd like to resolve this tonight, I know you. You'll take a day or two before you will even consider talking to me about this." He finished bandaging the arm. "Go sleep in my room I'll clean up your bed before mom gets home."

"You're treating me like a child." Yamato said quietly as Takeru gathered all of the bloodied material and headed towards the laundry room. Takeru stopped and turned back around, anger flashing in his eyes.

"What do you expect me to treat you as? It's just like when I was lost back in the digital world. You treated me like a child then. When someone deserves it it's alright. However, when they grow up and realize who they are hurting, the treatment needs to grow too. Maybe when you figure out how much pain you caused everyone I'll treat you your age. Now go to bed." Without another word, Yamato turned on his heels and stalked towards his brother's room.

The last day before the plan sped by, and before he knew it, Daisuke was in the digital world, fighting the battle they would intentionally lose. He watched as Yamato got himself into place, and he saw Garurumon fall, de-digivolving back to Tsunomon.

Slowly, one by one, the other digimon fell to the Kaiser, and he laughed evilly. Just for a moment, Daisuke swore he saw a look of regret cross the Kaiser's face, and just second later violet eyes were staring into his brown eyes. The Kaiser had made his choice. He nodded to Daisuke, and then to a Kuwagamon, who picked up the fallen boy and his digimon, then, disappearing into the setting sun. "I hope you know what you are doing." Daisuke mumbled to himself. The other's gathered together, and watched as Yamato was taken away.

Yamato woke slowly to find himself on a familiar smelling pillow. He opened his eyes to see Ken standing over him holing his Digivice. "I shut if off so your little digibrat friends couldn't follow us. Tsunomon is in the kitchen regaining energy by eating all the sweets he and Wormmon can find. You are in my bed, and Daisuke told me everything. I have a plan, I hope you like it. I've done a lot of thinking."

Yamato blinked and stared at Ken only half of what he said made it through his brain. He nodded however; deciding to just agree with Ken, and assume it was for the best. "Go on." Yamato said.

"Someone very smart pointed out the fact I hate to see you hurt. I think it's high time I let go of my anger I once had, and come to the realization that this is, unfortunately, not a game. I think it's time I became all the way good, instead of secretly playing for both sides."

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1: HA!!

2: Did I give him an eye color before? I know in _**Confused?**_ They were grey… but did I specify one thus far? Oh well… they are violet now. If anyone notices that it's wrong just review or message me and I'll change it.

_**Opposites**_**:** Main pairing: Taito. Minor pairing: Daiken. Mentionable pairings: Takeru X OC or maybe Takeru X Kari. There will be an original character by the name of Tevin for a semi-main character.

Summary**:** Taichi and Yamato. Yamato and Taichi. Inseparable from birth, until at least they hit high school, as complete opposites, they wander fighting against the one thing they both like …each other. As the two find themselves inseparable again because of friend choice will their differences ever be settled?

_**Control**_**:** Major pairing: Dai X OC (only at first), Taisuke Minor: Kento. "All he ever saw me as was a puppet to control and it was my fault he thought so…" Daisuke is in a situation no one ever should be. Taichi doesn't know how to help without offending and scaring off Dai. Yamato and Ken offer only support and solace, no real solutions. What's a man to do? AU. No digimon in this one.

**A/n:** And that's it. See you guys in chapter seven. Read and review please? Remember to vote on which story you guys want to read next!


	7. Kindness

A/n: Finally starting this new chapter. After graduating and having my computer go to crap, I'm back again yay! Thank you to my beta, chrono-contract, and thank you to my reviewers; More () and Akira Nishikawa. Anyway I give you Kindness.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Digimon

The sun shone brightly in the dimly lit computer lab. The chosen children all sat waiting and impatient for their leader to arrive. The room was like a ghost town, all of the normal laughter and tomfoolery replaced by tension ad worry. A week had passed since the plan to catch the Digimon Kaiser was set into motion; so far, they had been unable to locate Yamato. This meant that the Kaiser had either known of their plans, or was more ingenious then they could have ever hoped. Finally after what seemed like forever, Taichi and Daisuke walked through the door, both looking sullen faced.

"What we need to do is go into the digital world and not come out until we have Yamato back." Takeru said, as soon as the two had taken their spots.

Daisuke fidgeted in his chair. The previous night Ken had called him and explained the plan. However, the plan called for Daisuke to do some serious diversion tactics on his side so that the other chosen wouldn't find Yamato until Ken was able to finish his plan. This meant taking a huge risk in everyone finding out that he had tipped off the Kaiser. The seriousness in Takeru's voice made him worry even more. There wouldn't be any stopping Takeru once he got going, and by the looks of things, the rest of the chosen agreed with Takeru and were all ready to go into a dangerous situation to try and get the "kidnapped" Yamato back. Even worse was the fact that Takeru now seemed on board with the whole "help Yamato with his cutting" thing; which meant he was even more eager to get him back. This lead to the fact that Yamato was still cutting and not getting any better defeating the entire purpose of the original troublemaker: the Kaiser.

He groaned inwardly and put his head into his hands. An eerie silence fell over the other chosen and Daisuke could feel all eyes turn on him. He froze momentarily trying to process what he should do in this situation, all eyes on him.

"Is there something wrong with going to the digital world right now to get back one of our own?" Takeru asked in a tight voice, "Especially my brother who may be in worse condition thinking that no one is coming to get him?" Daisuke shook his head and tried to think through his foggy and growing headache for an excuse that would cover him in this situation.

"No, I just thought that if we all go how will we cover with our parents? It seems that, for the time being, maybe we should leave Yamato where he is and try to come up with an excuse for all of us to be missing important family events over however long it'll take, not to mention just covering for being missing all together. I don't know about you guys but I know Jun will notice if I'm gone, and she has already noticed that _Yamato _is gone. If I go too it won't take her long to piece together something." ten pairs of eyes stared at him. He shifted uncomfortably. Tai was the first to recover from whatever was wrong with him.

"Surprisingly I think he's right. We need to come up with a better plan before we just go storming in." The rest of the chosen nodded in agreement. Only one shook his head angrily. Takeru stood up with his fists clenched.

"What about Yamato?" He asked while everyone looked around uncomfortably "I realize that we need another plan, don't get me wrong, but we can't just abandon my brother for two weeks while we plan some major absence from our lives and his. We-"

"Yamato is a big boy; he can hold his own for a week or two more. He survived on his own when you guys fought the Dark Masters didn't he?" Daisuke said, almost regretting his words. He knew the type of reaction he'd get. Dating Takeru had its advantages. He knew how to handle the said boy, and how to persuade and manipulate him to agree. The only downfall was that Daisuke still didn't know if this was the right choice or not. Takeru glared at him.

"That was an entirely different situation. He had Gabumon and the rest of us. If he would have just-"

"Just what? Why do you care anyway Takeru? I thought you weren't going to help him until he stopped being so, what did you call him? weak? Maybe he still doesn't want your help." Daisuke's mouth filled with a bitter taste as what he said hit the crowd of people in front of him.

He watched Takeru's face move quickly from anger to sadness, then back to anger. Crystalline tears filled the blue eyes and without another word, Takeru turned on his heels and stormed out of the meeting. Daisuke winced at the slamming door and turned to face the rest of the chosen. Tai was looking at him, his mouth opening and closing, obviously speechless and shocked.

"Dai, what the hell?" Were the only words that came out of the other nine people in the room. Dai looked up to see that Kari had spoken. Anger was present in her eyes too, not that it was needed the fact that she was swearing was evidence enough that she was angry.

"How can you say that to him, you know how much he cares for Yamato." She sounded disapproving and stood up, meaning to follow the blonde out into the afternoon.

"At least he won't go after Yamato." Daisuke said the rest of the chosen seemed too stunned to speak and slowly they all left, leaving Daisuke alone in the computer lab. He sighed and let his head fall back. After a few minutes of silence, he went to the computer and opened up the same line he had contacted Ken with the night before. The Kaiser appeared with a bored looking Yamato behind him.

"I think I bought you at least a week." Daisuke said.

"Only a week?" Ken said clicking his tongue in slight annoyance. "Well I guess it's better than nothing right?" Daisuke nodded. Unknown to him, Takeru had slipped back into the computer lab, having forgotten something earlier. He'd hoped that Daisuke would be gone, but this was more intriguing. Despite his anger at said boy, he walked up to him, catching a glimpse of blue hair before Daisuke had closed out of the link.

"Who were you just talking to?" He asked anger still resonant in his voice. Daisuke whipped around obviously surprised by the presents of the other boy.

"T-Takeru! Uhm... no one! I was talking to myself." Daisuke said, trailing off at the end realizing how incredibly dumb that sounded considering that Ken had talked back to him, and their voices sounded nothing alike. The look on Takeru's face said that the blonde didn't believe him. He winced and Takeru turned on his heels.

"Daisuke do me a favor. Don't call me tonight; I don't think I want to go to that movie." He then walked out of the door and Daisuke winced again at the slamming door. He was going to have a lot of explaining and begging to do when this was all over. He growled and cursed at the situation at hand.

"I hope those two know what they are doing." Daisuke sighed, shutting down the computer and picking up his bag, walking slowly out of the door alone.

The voice Takeru had heard defiantly wasn't any of his friends or family. That he was sure of.

Mainly Daisuke wouldn't have lied to him if it would have been someone that he knew. This meant that it was someone that he didn't know and for some reason Daisuke didn't want him to know. Was Daisuke seeing a girl on the side? Takeru let out a barked laugh. That was ridiculous. Daisuke was too sweet and loyal to cheat with a girl… besides he was gay. Wait, was there another man? Takeru shook his head. That was a stupid though. Daisuke wouldn't would he? No. He wouldn't.

He had said he'd bought them more time. What could that mean? Unless Daisuke was working for the Kaiser, Takeru stopped in his tracks, a person ran into his back. "Watch it!" They yelled. Takeru mumbled a sorry, but stayed rooted in his spot. It made sense. The random outburst from him today, the suspicious behavior, and even the conversation on web-cam. Takeru bit his lip trying to remember. If he was correct than the voice he heard would also turn out to be the same as the Kaiser's voice. Without much thought Takeru ran to the one person he knew would help. The door was familiar to him and he knocked impatiently.

"What?" The person asked looking annoyed. "Takeru? You pulled me away from dinner-"

"I think Daisuke is working with the Kaiser." Takeru blurted. Brown eyes went the size of saucers and the blonde was pulled through the door. "I know it seems impossible Tai but I really think he's up to something. I went back to the computer lab to grab my bag after the meeting, and I heard him talking through a web-cam connection. He told someone that he'd bought them at least a week's worth of time. I heard a voice answer back and I saw a flash of blueish black hair. I'm almost positive it was the Kaiser. What should we do, should we confront him? Or-"

"Takeru, don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure this isn't just because you were upset about what Dai said to you?" Tai asked, concern edging into his voice.

Takeru shook his head violently. Taichi still seem unconvinced however; "Takeru this is Daisuke we're talking about! Can you really see him doing that sort of thing? I mean, accusing Daisuke of giving information to the Kaiser is like saying Yamato has a crush on him. It just wouldn't happen. (1)"

"There is only one way to be sure. Let's go to the digital world and investigate this. It has to be worth looking into, I mean, why else would the Kaiser block the signal of Yamato. He wouldn't have any idea what we're planning and would want us to come and find Yamato, not hide him." Taichi nodded reluctantly. What Takeru was saying was beginning to sound plausible.

"Mom, dad? I'm going out for a while. I'll be back sometime later tonight!" Taichi yelled over his shoulder, he slipped on his shoes, and grabbed his digivice. Takeru pulled out his and lead the way back to the vacated computer lab in the school (2).

A crimson sun set against the blue green trees of the digital world. Takeru and Taichi slowly made their way through familiar territory searching for anything that may tell them about Daisuke or the Kaiser.

"Take, I hate to break this too you, but I don't think we're going to find anything out here. I just remembered how big Server is. And that's without File Island. How are we ever supposed to find-"

"Shhh, I hear something up ahead. Takeru said, crouching down. Patamon followed him silently, along with a not-so-willing Taichi and Agumon. Peaking over the brush both boys found what they were looking for. The Kaiser and Yamato stood in the clearing looking over a cliff at the sunset. Takeru cursed not being able to hear the conversation that was happening a few feet away from him. However; that didn't stop what occurred next. Slowly but surely both the Kaiser and Yamato leaned towards one another, and their lips met in the middle.

"Well," Taichi whispered into Takeru's ear. "Remember earlier when I said that Daisuke giving information would be like Yamato having a crush on the Kaiser?" Takeru nodded dumbly. "I was right… well wrong really, but right all the same. I think we need to have a conversation with a certain 'Digidested leader'. Taichi finished, the anger slowly growing in his voice.

"What are we going to do about that?" Takeru whispered back, nodding his head towards the oblivious couple. Taichi shook his head and gestured back towards the T.V.

"Nothing for now. Later, we will get them though. I think it's more important that we go and tell the other chosen about this treachery first." Tai said, standing up, and walking away from the still clueless duo on the mountain. Takeru wasn't positive, but he was sure that he'd heard a bit of anger and pain in Taichi's voice when it came to the two on the cliff. He shook his head and followed Tai back through the forest and into the real world.

"Ken what do you want to show me out here?" Yamato asked, his voice winded from walking. "What could possibly be out- whoa!" His voice stopped short when he saw the beautiful sunset from across the cliff. He sat down hard and stared out over it.

"I found this place one day when I was on a walk. At the time I never appreciated the beauty, but with you here it seems all the more real. I know you're still a little hesitant with our plan, but I think it will work, and I would like to keep spending moments like this with you." Ken said, sitting down close to Yamato. However; the blonde turned his head.

"Ken, we've been through this. Until I know for sure that you are good, and not just trying to manipulate me, I don't want any of this to happen." Yamato said quietly, trying to hide his eyes, and not let anything away. Absentmindedly he began to scratch at his arm, almost wishing he could get his knife back from the room he was staying in currently. To his surprise, Ken pulled his hand away and leaned in closer to him, until only an inch remained in between them.

"If you are so against this, why aren't you stopping it?" Ken asked, closing the distance before Yamato could answer. The answer came in is next action however; as Yamato moved to keep the kiss form ending.

"I just have the feeling that this will end badly if and when it does." Yamato said, as they pulled apart. Ken pulled their foreheads together.

"Then let's not let it end." He said, pulling Yamato towards him again, as the final rays of the sun disappeared beyond the horizon.

A/n: Well, that was fun. Let's see what Taichi and Takeru make of this news, and what Daisuke does to try and cover up next time. I still have that poll open in case anyone has an opinion on what I should write, otherwise I'm going to take it down and go off of what I can from it. Ta ta for now, see you next chapter. Don't forget to review. Right now I think that's the only thing that's keeping me writing is reviews. I'm a little unmotivated because of everything that's happening this summer, so review please!

Ah Taichi, ha, you make my day. I love writing your character.

Uhm, I think they would still technically be using the school computers. I don't think they find out it can be another computer until after they find out who the Kaiser actually is in the show. So that's what I'm sticking with.


	8. Tresspasses

A/n: Hey everyone, I'm back with chapter eight of ALTL. I have also decided that the next story I write will be _Opposites _followed by _Control _. I may end up writing both at the same time, but I highly doubt that, I tried writing this story and _Mattie _at the same time and that failed epically so it'll probably just be one at a time. Anyway thank you to Akira Nishikawa, SoRikuStar,and terracannon876 for reviewing, and thanks to my beta chrono-contract!

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon. The closest I come to owning digimon is the Agumon alarm clock on my bed side table.

Without further ado I give you, Trespasses.;

* * *

The day was dark and dreary, much like the mood set by Takeru and Taichi as they stormed down the street, moving ever closer to Daisuke's house. After returning from the digital world, they figured it would be best to get Dai's side of the story before accusing him at the next meeting. They trudged determinately up the stairs leading to Daisuke's apartment and knocked on the door.

Daisuke awoke to a knocking at his door and moved to find the disrupter of his sleep. Rubbing his eyes of sleep, he opened his door to come face to face with Takeru and Taichi. He blinked stupidly holding the door, and having a hailstorm of glares raining down on him. "Tai-Take, Hi…What are-

"We need to talk." Tai said, pushing his way into the house, Takeru followed behind silently. Daisuke blinked again but shut the door, and headed over to the living room where the two had passed him. Takeru sat down impatiently on the couch, and Taichi stood his arms folded glaring down at the cherry brunet in front of him. Daisuke slowly made his way to the living room and sat pretzel style in the chair across from his boyfriend.

"What is so pressing that I'm getting the Taichi-glare?" Daisuke asked his voice uncomfortable and weakly spewing humor. The glare silenced him once again and he waited for an explanation.

"Who were you talking too yesterday when I saw you in the computer lab?" Takeru asked, his voice surprisingly calm for the anger radiating from him. Daisuke stared in confusion before remembering the incident the day prior.

"I already told you I was talking to myself?" Daisuke said his voice ending high and a sigh of exasperation left Taichi. "That's not going to work is it?" Dai mumbled, looking to the ceiling.

"Nope" Taichi said, "The truth would though. Like, you were talking to the Digimon Kaiser."

"That's ridiculous why would I be-

"We saw my brother and the Kaiser, Daisuke now would be a good time to tell us the truth." Takeru seethed, anger admitting from him. Daisuke hesitated, but hung his head. Eventually he would have to tell them.

Yamato stared over a vast ocean of black. He took in every control spire and dark ring encased digimon that was in his vision. They had all appeared quite recently. Slowly one by one just filling into the space in front of him. He imagined that the Digimon Kaiser had called them all there. It was really the only explanation. Considering he hadn't seen Ken in nearly an hour. Looking at all of the black was making him sick with regret. Maybe this is where he would get betrayed by Ken. He sighed and pulled his sleeve up, reveling relatively new cuts. So much for fixing that problem. It seemed that even though he was with the Kaiser who promised to help, he was still slashing his arm every night after the Kaiser and he had gone to their separate beds. Last night had been particularly bad considering what had happened on that hillside. Yamato couldn't believe that even after promising himself this wouldn't happen until Ken renounced his Kaiser title, it still had, and he hadn't even tried to stop it. A noise to his left made his head jerk up.

"Ah, so I was correct. You are still cutting." Ken said, carefully walking out towards Yamato. The blonde lowered his gaze and tried to pull his sleeve down. The Kaiser shot out his hand and grabbed his wrist. "Don't do that." Ken proceeded to examine Yamato's arm and then pulled down the sleeve.

"What are all of those digimon doing here?" Yamato questioned his vision still faced the metallic surface of the platform he stood on.

"Hnmm, so you did notice." Ken said his voice nonchalant, ignoring the glare he got from the blonde opposite him. "They are here to be free." Yamato looked at him questioningly, but Ken pushed a few buttons on the controls in front of him, then with a hiss every control spire in sight fizzed a little, and black spirals dropped to the floor "Digimon of the digital world. This is the former Kaiser speaking. I have realized that what I was doing is wrong. Therefore I have freed you all. Go now. Tell anyone not here of this. If they wish they may come here and ask anything of me, but for now, I offer my personal apology."

Yamato could only stare in shock as The Kaiser got on his knees and apologized to the entire Digital world. As the crowd thinned, and the sinning that had started vanished Yamato just stared at Ken. "How... but you wanted the world. How could you just give it up like that?"

"I've come to realize from knowing you and watching what you went through that this isn't right. After meeting and talking to your digimon, I realized how incredibly real they really are. This isn't just some game." Ken stood and moved closer to Yamato. "I also had to prove that I wasn't going to double cross you. How else would I do that?" Yamato jerked away from him.

"NO! You can't just turn good! It doesn't work that way. It's like some romance novel where the man realizes he's bad and turns good! It can't really happen like that. You can't really mean it." Yamato said.

"I can do whatever I please and change whenever I want to. If I want to be good then I'll be good. If I want to be bad then I'll be bad. It's my decision. I can do it for the best reasons, or the worst reasons. It doesn't matter why. The point is I don't want to continue that life anymore. I chose this because it's what I want and that's it, I chose you over the world because saving you is more important to me apparently then owning the whole world. I've been changing ever since I chose to help you in the first place. This wasn't a sudden change. If you don't like that then leave."

Yamato stared at Ken, his mouth open wide. Shock didn't even begin to cover what he was feeling right now. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his pearl-handled knife. Slowly he held it out to Ken. Taking the hint, Ken grabbed it and slid it into his own pocket. "I'm sorry," Yamato said his head falling against his chest.

Ken chuckled and grabbed Yamato's face brining it level with his. "Don't be." He then leaned forward and kissed Yamato lightly. "So" he said pulling away, "You read romance novels?"(1)

Nine pairs of angry eyes now stared at Daisuke. Nine people who all looked ready to beat him into non existence. Nine people ready give him the death penalty without a trial. Nine people who until quite recently were some of his best friends. Daisuke sat in front of all of the digidestin, minus Mimi who was in America, and Yamato who was with the Kaiser. "So Daisuke would you like to tell everyone else what you told Takeru and me?" Taichi questioned his arms folded against his chest. A heavy glare was set on his younger protégé.

"I-I've been keeping a secret for the past few months." Daisuke said, fighting in his seat. Taichi motioned for him to go on. "I'm-not a real brunet?" Glares followed his weak attempt at humor.

"Fine. I've been hiding a sort of alliance between the Kaiser and Yamato." Gasps were heard around the room. Taichi had actually told everyone before hand, but they had all thought it to be untrue, here the evidence was though staring them in the face. "Oh yea, and I met the digimon Kaiser, and have known his name for quite a while now."

"Why-why would you betray us like that?" Kari asked her voice cracking, sounding as if tears were on the verge of falling down her face. "What happened to you?" She buried her face in her hands, trying to block out the world.

"He was just trying to help Yamato. I don't know how but somehow the Kaiser found out about Yamato's cutting, and was talking him through it. That day Yamato ran away? I followed and saw Yamato speak with Ken, I saw the trust Yamato held. The Kaiser was just trying to help, and Yamato trusted him." Daisuke answered. He already knew that telling them this would do no good. In their eyes he was a traitor, plain and simple. "Yamato just wanted someone he could talk to."

"He could have talked to any of us!" Taichi yelled suddenly, clenching his fists at his side. "That isn't a real reason. The Kaiser is evil. Apparently so is Yamato!"

"Who was he supposed to talk to Taichi? You? You cheated on him." Daisuke said, now standing in anger. "How was he supposed to trust you after you slept around with Sora!" He gestured to the cherry haired youth, who flinched back like she had been slapped. "Or maybe he should have gone to your little sister. The all holy tattle tale of the group! She would have told his secrets to anyone because she thought she was doing well! She would have scared him away. Or maybe he could have gone to Iori, the prude who would have looked down on him. Or Joe the doctor who reports to you. Mimi lives in America she's too far to really help him. Sora is out of the question. I would have eventually told Takeru because here I am ratting on him now. Or oh- maybe he should have told Miyako! Then even his fans would know! Tell me Tai who should of he gone to?"

Everyone in the room was silenced by the outburst. They all simply stared at him, wondering what possessed him to be so cruel and realistic. "He could have come to me." Takeru said simply, "you never said what I did wrong, why didn't he come to me? I'm his brother after all." The anger drained from Daisuke's face, and he turned to stare at what he hoped was still his blonde boyfriend.

"Your right Take- you should have been there for him. However, he saw that you were caught up in your own little world, trying to work out exactly where he went wrong. You were too busy ignoring his problem and calling him weak. Why would he come to you if you thought he was just weak?" Tears welled up in Takeru's eyes and he ran from the room leaving only silence and anger in his wake.

"We're going to the digital world to try and confront and save Yamato. Daisuke you are not allowed to come. You've done enough damage. Kari? Stay here and make sure he doesn't follow" Taichi said, before walking out to find the blonde and bring him back into the computer lab. Slowly the all pulled out their digivices, and one by one, they left Daisuke alone in the lab with Kari. She looked at him with wet and pathetic eyes, before sitting in the chair and ignoring him. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, and sent one text to try and warn Yamato and Ken.

Ken stared at the monitor, his breath caught in his throat. How could this have happened? The chosen children should have known nothing of their plan. Daisuke said that he had bought them a week. Could the brunet have lied? Ken shifted uncomfortably. He turned as he heard a noise to see Yamato enter the main chamber of the fortress. "Ken, you've been up here for ages. Wormmon, Gabumon and I have been waiting to… what's wrong?" Yamato asked, noticing the distress in the other boy's stature.

Ken merely pointed a finger at the monitor. "They're coming" He said. Yamato looked up his jaw dropping.

"Did Daisuke…?" Ken only shrugged at the question. The two just sat silently and stared as the bleeps moved closer to where their base was. "Maybe they are just wandering aimlessly?" He questioned again. Ken shook his head. Both of them jumped as Yamato's phone beeped. He looked. One text from Daisuke. _I'm sorry. I tried. _Silently Yamato handed the phone to Ken.

"You can leave me and return to them. Keep on the low end for a bit, pretend like I brainwashed you, then realized I was bad and just let you go. Do you want to?" Ken asked. Yamato shook his head.

"No, I'm not leaving. They already think I'm evil. By now Taichi will have blown everything out of proportion. I'm not leaving your side. Go find Wormmon and let's get ready to face this."

Gabumon walked into the room silently. He slid up next to Yamato and stared at the ever coming blips. "Are we going to fight?" HE asked simply, he didn't look surprised in the slightest when Yamato nodded.

"I don't want to hurt them, but they'll never believe he's good. We don't have to hurt them. We only have to protect ourselves. Can you do some self defense? Maybe if we just back off they'll realize what's happening."

"You know me Yamato. I do whatever you do. If you just want protection I'll give you that. I have a feeling you've needed it for quite some time."

"Thanks Gabumon."

"Does it feel eerily silent to anyone else?" Joe asked, running to catch up with Taichi. "I mean we haven't seen a single enslaved digimon. Maybe the Kaiser has let them all free. Maybe we should believe Daisuke. Maybe we-

"We aren't making a mistake. Yamato has betrayed us! I saw him kissing the digimon Kaiser! He's betrayed us and he will pay." Taichi said, moving in on the looming Kaiser base in front of him. "They will both pay." (2)

"I know you won't believe me Kari, but Ken really just wants to help Yamato. He told me last night he would free every digimon today, just to prove he wasn't evil anymore." Daisuke said, surprising him and Kari. She looked up at him, the tears almost gone.

"Did he really?" She asked, her voice almost believing that it could be true. Daisuke nodded.

"Do you think he did it?"

"Check the monitors; see if the control spires are down." The girl moved quickly over to the computer screen and checked the radar Koushiro had set for twenty-four –hour Kaiser Activity.

"I-I don't believe it, all the systems are down. There is nothing right. Daisuke- You weren't just trying to cover up a falsehood. The Kaiser must be good!" She pulled out her D-3 and sent the message onto the other chosen. (3)

"Tai! Kari sent us a message! The control spires have stopped working! The Kaiser has ended this." Joe said, trying to show the brunet the message.

"No, he's betrayed us!" Tai said, moving on. "It's just a trick. The Kaiser will turn them back on. Keep your guard up!"

* * *

A/n: Sorry this took longer than I thought. I went to England for two weeks to visit my sister, and she introduced me to Doctor Who… also, College was more intense than I thought, plus some stuff happened to my beta, but we're back now! I promise!

1: Feel the need to say I don't read romance novels. They never really caught my interest.

2: Someone sounds jealous….

3: I realize this sounds really lame…But it's necessary for the plot.


	9. Illusion

A/n: the next chapter is here! This contains a poem. I thought it fit this chapter pretty well…To say I haven't been neglecting this story would be a lie. Ignoring how much work college is I have put this chapter off in exchange for watching _Torchwood._ Sorry for the delay, but you can never have enough Janto in your day. Anyway, sorry, back to Digimon now. Let's move onto some Kento shall we?

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. I own any random character's I throw in, but there shouldn't be any in this story.

* * *

_It's funny you never notice,_

_It's funny you never catch on._

_It isn't like I'm trying to hide it._

_Never threw it in a disguise._

_I suppose it's really true,_

_You'll miss what's right__ in front of your eyes_

_Because you're staring at the obvious,_

_blinking at the undeniable._

_wishing it wasn't there_

The ex-kaiser and Yamato stood, watching the group of chosen children approach their 'hide out'. Yamato could see Taichi at the front of the crowd, and even from the far distance, Yamato could see the anger etched into his face. Automatically, his hand went up to one of his scar riddled wrists, and he began to scratch at the wounds. Ken noticed the action, and slipped his hand into the hand Yamato was scratching with. The blonde looked over in surprise, but Ken just smiled.

"Here we go." Ken said,

Gabumon and Wormmon came to stand next to their rightful partners, and watch as the oncoming group stopped about a hundred feet away.

"Yamato, we know you are a traitor, don't try to deny it!" Tai said, taking a confident step forward. The rest of the chosen, Yamato noted, looked less sure than their fearless leader. Yamato clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Yeah Tai, that's why you're talking to us right now, and not getting your butt whooped by Garurumon and a horde of dark ringed digimon." The lazy nonchalant tone in his voice only angered Tai further. Yamato watched in mild amusement at the anger built within the brunet in front of him. Without a word, Tai's orange dinosaur digimon stepped forward, yelling the words every chosen child knew so well, Agumon completed his digivolution, and stood in front of the "enemy forces" ready to face off against one of his closest friends.

"Taichi you're just being stupid." Yamato said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why won't you let me explain before just attacking?"

"This is just like last time! You've fallen into the enemies traps again! Just like with Puppetmon. When will you learn?" Yamato's eyes fell on his little brother as he spoke. The tears glistened in crystalline blue eyes that looked so familiar to the elder blonde. He sighed and walked over to his brother, noting idly at the tension in Greymon as he moved. He leaned forward so he was directly in his younger brother's face.

"This is nothing like that. Everything up until this point was like that. I was letting others control my life again. Ken is just helping me." Yamato moved back away from his still upset brother , addressing the entire group of chosen children. He looked over at his bluenette(1) counterpart. Ken was looking to the left idly, staying distant from this confrontational intervention.

"You all need to realize that Ken is different. You have had to notice by now that he hasn't tried to attack. Why are you all so blinded by this initial hatred?"

"Yamato, he isn't good! He's just misleading you. When has he ever given you any sign he can be trusted?" Taichi said, trying his best to persuade the blonde. Brute force hadn't worked like he'd originally thought it would. Reason was his next best shot. Yamato only scoffed at him. He fell back to stand next to Ken again, refusing to yield to Taichi's logic.

_You refuse to see what I am showing._

_You make up your own truth._

_You feel __that if you ignore it,_

_then there will be no proof._

_What you see is an illusion._

_It's nowhere near the fact._

_Because you're staring at the obvious,_

_blinking at the undeniable,_

_wishing it wasn't there._

"Tai he's called off every single digimon slave, look around you! The ground is littered with the discarded rings. He let them go. He saw they were real living creatures and is in remorse. He let them go!"

"Lies! No one can turn good that fast. Why would he want to give up his empire? Was it because of you? Did he say he loved you? Did you fuck around with him?" Yamato stared at him in shock, tears welling up in his eyes at the harsh words thrown in his direction. "Did he get a bit of action? Did he free the slaves in trade for your services? What could make him turn good so fast? It's all a lie Yamato! He only used you as his own personal little whore."(2) A fist flew out of nowhere, and before anyone could stop it, Taichi found himself on the ground holding his lip. The Kaiser stood above him, wiping the blood from Tai's lip off of his hand.

"How dare you say that?" Ken all but growled dropping down onto his knees he raised his fist and brought it back down, hitting Taichi again. "How dare you make that accusation, especially after what you did? Yamato and I have done nothing of the sort! How can you..." His hand rose for a third time. This time Taichi was prepared, and caught the Kaiser's hand, he pushed the younger boy off him and moved to return the hit. The others watched in shock and Yamato backed up against the tree tears still streaming down his face.

_You close your eyes and wander,_

_through the world blinded._

_You never stop to wonder,_

_if it's all for real._

_You __follow on your instincts._

_And never stray too far._

_Because you're staring at the obvious,_

_blinking at the undeniable_

_wishing it wasn't there.

* * *

_

Daisuke and Hikari were at a dead run toward the location of the Digidestined. Their message had gone ignored, and a distress signal was activated a short time later.

"What if we're too late? What if they're in a big fight that shouldn't happen?" Kari said maneuvering around trees the best she could.

"We have to try something. If you brother won't listen, then maybe us being on Yamato's side will convince the others." Daisuke replied. He had a bad feeling that something deep in the digital woods was already going down, and causing a huge mess. He just hoped neither side was doing too much damage.

Yamato finally ran into a tree from backing up. He sank slowly down and watched the scene in front of him. Both his ex and his boyfriend were rolling on the ground fighting. "No," he whispered to himself, his emotions taking over his thought. "Stop" he said weakly. He repeated the two words, mumbling incoherently as the others did nothing to pull the two apart. Even Greymon and Wormmon seemed to be at a loss of what to do. Neither of their partners had said they were in any danger, but they were rolling and fighting. Both hesitantly hovered around the area the fight was taking place in.

Takeru was the first to notice the elder blonde's distress. He ran to his brother and knelt in front of him. "Yamato? Yamato what's wrong?" Ignoring the oblivious stupidity of his brother, blue eyes looked up.

"Make them stop." He sobbed, tears running down his cheeks. "Why won't they stop?" Takeru stood up and rushed over to the fighting pair. Daisuke and Kari joined the scene moments later. Both shocked at the fight in progress. Daisuke instantly jumped in, grabbing Ken around the middle, and pulled him away. Takeru did the same, dragging a kicking Taichi away from the fight.

"What happened?" Daisuke demanded glaring at Ken and Taichi in turn. Ken glared, but shook himself free of Daisuke. A warning glace was shot in his direction, but he made no movement to resume the fight.

"He called Yamato a whore." Ken said simply, noting sadly at how Yamato flinched at the word. He wiped more blood off of his hands and onto his jacket. Daisuke slowly turned and looked at his battered idol.

"You what?" Was the simple question he asked.

"Ok, let's make this easier on them. Everyone who isn't directly involved leave." Takeru said suddenly, herding the rest of the shocked Digidestined away, he returned leaving just him, the three other boys, and their digimon. Feeling no threat Greymon returned to his original form and moved to stand by V-mon and Patamon. Takeru moved over to inspect Taichi and make sure no damage was done. Yamato was doing the same with Ken. Daisuke stood in between both parties.

"Taichi, what possessed you to call Yamato a whore?" Daisuke said Tai and Takeru looked up. Anger, hurt, and something else - jealousy maybe? - flashed in Taichi's eyes. Takeru looked away from the hard gaze his boyfriend was giving him.

"Because he betrayed us to go with this filth," Taichi said gesturing angrily at Ken. Ken made a movement to lung at Tai again but was held back by Daisuke. "He's a little traitor, one sign that some one likes him and he runs off."

"I was just helping him. In case you didn't notice, he was slicing up his arm every night because of _you_." Ken said, his voice dripping with venom. "He needed someone to help him. You were all to wrap up in your lives to notice his pain." Taichi's eyes hardened at Ken's words, and he lunged again at the boy, fists raised. Yamato was ready this time, and stepped between them. Taichi stopped dead and glared.

_Wi__th blinded hands you search,_

_always missing by an inch._

_Stumbling for your truth,_

_while tripping over mine._

_Because you're staring at the obvious,_

_blinking at the undeniable,_

_wishing it wasn't there._

"Do you really want to do this Yamato? Do you really want to fight me?" Tai asked his fists still in the air. Yamato made no movement but stood, just staring at Taichi. Slowly Taichi's arms fell by his side. He sighed and glared up to the sky.

"Why do you find it so hard to believe that Ken is good? Why do you automatically think he could never change? You changed me, for the better... and worse. Why is it so impossible for him to be good?" Yamato asked quietly not looking up to Tai. Taichi stood motionless Yamato's words circling in his head.

"Why did you choose him to help you? Why didn't you come back to me?" Tai asked quietly. Takeru and Daisuke gaped at the question, not expecting Taichi's methods to be the jealous type. "We had told each other a long time ago we'd always be there for each other." Yamato sighed. The root of the problem. He moved towards Tai and pulled him into a hug. The brunet's eyes widened.

"Tai, you are my best friend. You have been for a long time," Yamato said he stepped back and let go. "But you let me go. You chose your path and left me to cope on my own for the first time in years. Ken found me broken and messed up. He did nothing more than what you did. Except he tried to let me be on my own, he let me find myself instead of protecting me and letting me run from my problems. He didn't disable me. I'm sorry but I've made my choice just as you have. You have to let me go." Yamato stepped forward to put a hand on Tai's shoulder who jerked back and glared. Tai then turned on his heels and stormed to the gate back to the real world. Yamato's hand fell through empty space as tears pricked at his eyes.

_People all around us,_

_Staring at our struggle,_

_but only seeing the facade we place,_

_Afraid like you,_

_to see the truth_

_Because they are staring at the obvious,_

_blinking at the __undeniable_

_wishing it wasn't there_

"Are you going to be ok?" Ken asked. Yamato nodded, knowing the double meaning of his words.

"Yeah, unfortunately I can feel this." The blonde said quietly. He sighed and leaned back against Ken. "Let's go home." Yamato looked at the two other boys he smiled sadly, as he and Ken walked off leaving them alone. Daisuke and Takeru stood in silence, neither having the courage to look at the other.

* * *

"So... intense huh?" Daisuke said suddenly, turning to his 'boyfriend'. Takeru only nodded in agreement. They both stared at the ground, neither wanting to start the conversation. Daisuke bit his lip, and looked up.

"Ok, I'll start. I'm sorry. I should have never hid Yamato and Ke-" Daisuke got cut short and Takeru jumped forward and pressed their lips together. He stumbled back in shock as Takeru pulled away. (3)

"Thank you for helping my brother." Takeru said quietly. "I was ignoring the problem, and that wasn't right. I'm glad someone was there for him. Thank you for making sure he was safe." Takeru turned on his heels and wandered back towards the gate. Daisuke smiled, and caught up to the blonde. He took Takeru's hand and kissed him on the cheek.

"You are very welcome."

* * *

_The reflection on the mirror does no justice,_

_It's like staring at Medusa,_

_Before you can find the truth,_

_You freeze in a state of unchanging ideas_

_Because you're staring at th__e obvious_

_blinking at the undeniable_

_wishing it wasn't there_

"You know I still expect you to go to counseling even though you've given up your knife right?" Ken asked Yamato as they landed back in his bedroom. Yamato laid on the now familiar bed and nodded his head.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. I can't be just changed in one day. Now that I'm willing to talk I will." Ken nodded and joined the blonde on his bed.

"What are you going to do about Taichi?" Ken asked softly, running his fingers through Yamato's hair.

"Let him come around? I honestly don't know what's going to happen. We'll have to see how time plays it out." Ken only hummed softly before kissing Yamato.

Taichi stared at the mirror in front of him. The words Yamato had said circled in his head, not leaving. Everything today had put his life and his choices in new perspective. It had knocked him down a peg or two, and maybe actually taught him a lesson.

He sighed and looked at his reflection once more. Someone had once told him that the reflection in the mirror showed your true self. Taichi didn't like what he saw at the moment. His face was covered in shadow. Anger seemed to distort his face, and he could see the tears that streaked his face.

He felt almost as if everything today had been a result of his anger and jealousy. The dark image in the mirror, and his thoughts gave him the illusion that he was numb. For once, he wished that he could feel, just to know what to do next.

He sighed and fell back against his bed. All of his energy and emotions drained away and he fell asleep in his clothing. (4)

* * *

1: How many times have I changed his hair color now?

2: Ouch. That had to hurt.

3: Awww. Daikeru fluff! So adorable!

4: Hnmmm… poor Tai. He was a jerk this chapter and yet I still feel bad for him….

A/n Wow. That got longer than I thought. Not too long though. Anyway I will see you guys next chapter. We're nearing the end now. Probably only like two or three more chapters. I expected about 15 when I started, and I think I may get to 13. I don't know yet we'll see. Since I'm nearing the end of this story, I'll probably have the first chapter of _Opposites_on reserve to post soon just because. I'll let you know more next chapter. Ta-ta for now.


	10. Ripple Effect

**A/n:** Here it is (finally). Sorry about the delay. I had to write a paper on the Joker, only to turn around and write one on the real causes of alcohol abuse. I'm tired…anyway on with the story. It's slow at first but I promise it'll start moving later on. It's just going through what everyone is doing in the aftermath of the last chapter. Sora will make a cameo again in this chapter (she hasn't been here in a while) I haven't written with her in a long time. Almost two years now, back when I wrote only Sorato's under a different account, so sorry if I'm a bit rusty with her. Thank you to my beta chrono-contract, and to the reviewers of the last chapter: Akira Nishikawa and Sumi19! I now give you chapter 10: "Ripple Effect"

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Digimon. Nor do I own any movie, book, show, electronic, ect, ect that may be mentioned in this chapter.

* * *

Matt wiped his eyes in a fit of agitation. His eyes stung from a lack of sleep, but nothing he did would push the insomnia away from his mind. He just didn't want to sleep. He couldn't sleep. It had been two days since the scene in the digital world and, since he'd come back, his mother had put him under constant supervision. If she wasn't with him then Takeru was. He hadn't had proper time with Ken in those two days. After falling asleep next to Ken for nearly four weeks, it was difficult to say the least to get any sleep. Most nights he stayed up, thinking of how he missed the constant shuffle and groaning from his bluenette counterpart... he even missed the snoring. Ken had come by to see him regularly over the last two days; however, it was nothing like it had been before when everything they did was in secret.

He rolled over and looked at the clock. 4:28 flashed with the burning, unforgiving red lighting up the room. Three hours from now, he should be waking up, and waiting for Ken to appear. He sighed and rolled to his other side. Closing his eyes, he willed himself into a fake sense of sleep, only opening them again when his alarm went off.

Matt sat up slowly and stretched. He could hear running water in the bathroom. He grimaced, noting that Takeru had beaten him there. He sighed and fell back onto the makeshift bed. He heard his mother enter the kitchen and turn on the stove.

"Good morning Yamato. Are you ready for your first day of therapy?" Matt shot into a sitting position, his eyes widened with shock. He'd forgotten that his first therapy meeting was today.

Natsuko stopped what she was doing and focused on her son. "Yamato? Are you alright?" she asked, gliding over to the side of the pullout couch. He nodded absentmindedly, his fears now turning to the meeting that would be taking place later today. He heard the shower shut off, and the door banged open, and then closed again. He sighed, and moved to get into the shower.

"I'm fine mom, I just forgot about the meeting today."

She only nodded before returning to her cooking. Yamato sighed, and moved into the bathroom, to start his morning ritual. Half an hour later, he excited the bathroom and moved towards the kitchen. He sat at the table, across from his brother and waited as his mother finished setting the meal in front of him. He ate quickly. As he finished he stood, placed his dishes in the sink and moved on to finish getting ready. Twenty minutes later, he found himself in the car and moving towards the therapist's office. He sighed and placed his head against the window. He hoped it would go better this time, then the last time he'd went. The drive there was relatively quiet and slow. He'd noticed as of late, everything he did seemed to be in a foggy haze. His hand went up automatically to the cuts, and he scratched at them absentmindedly. He ignored the glare from his mother and continued to scratch feeling the skin break. A hand over his stopped his movements. He looked over to meet pleading blue eyes.

"Yamato, stop that. You'll break the skin." Takeru said quietly, concern flashing through his eyes.

Yamato rolled his eyes, but stopped the motion anyway. Instead he turned and looked out the window. Ever since the digital world, Takeru had been whole heartedly trying to act like a better brother and make up for the weeks he'd spent treating Yamato like an alien. Yamato sighed; he really couldn't blame his brother. After all, he was weak, and pathetic. If he were in Takeru's shoes he'd think the same thing. Over this whole time he'd wondered why Ken chose him of all people to like. He was too weak to resist the temptations to cut again, and now, he had been too weak to end his life. He pressed his forehead against the window, and watched the streets slowly filter by. After what felt like an eternity his mother pulled into the parking lot. He sighed, and unbuckled his seat belt. Moving to open the door, his mother shut the engine off. Without waiting he walked himself to the clinic and entered leaving his mother and brother to fend for themselves. He made his way to the reception desk. A perky young woman smiled at him.

"How may I help you!" She asked, pulling up her datebook.

Yamato forced a smile. "I'm Ishida, Yamato. I'm here to have a meeting with Dr. Satoshi." The lady nodded and smiled, picking up the phone to page her boss. As she spoke with him, Natsuko and Takeru entered the clinic and moved to catch up with Yamato. He ignored them and waited for the lady to get off the phone. She hung up and smiled, gesturing for him to move through the door.

"He's ready for you now." She said. Yamato smiled his thanks and moved to the door. Breathing deeply he opened it and made his way into the office with his new therapist. He wished Ken could be there with him, but knew this was something he needed to do on his own.

* * *

Taichi groaned and rolled over. He didn't want to get up. Every time he woke all he could think about what the events of two days ago. After that day, nothing made sense anymore. He just wanted to sleep and forget that the past few months had happened, when he woke, he wanted to be back in Yamato's arms and forget about Sora, Ken, and everyone else. He knew this would never happen, especially after what he had said to the elder blonde haired teen. Especially after what he had done to Yamato, it had only now fully hit him how much he must of hurt Yamato when he had cheated on him with Sora.

He groaned again, but got out of bed nonetheless. He moved out into the kitchen where his younger sister sat munching on a bowl of cereal. "You talking to me yet?" he asked nonchalantly, moving to grab the cereal where she had left it on the counter. A soft hmph was heard and she left the room with her bowl, trying to escape her brother.

"Apparently not," Taichi sat at the table and ate his cereal slowly.

With everyone mad at him it wasn't like he was in any rush to go somewhere. After the incident in the digital world, not even Sora would talk to him. He sighed and took his bowl to the sink to be washed. If no one would talk to him he might as well just go back to skulking in his room.

Much later in the day, he left his room to find his sister talking to Miyako and Iori in the kitchen. He did his best to stay out of the way of their conversation and ignore the glares he received from the two girls. Iori on the other hand just sat and watched the anger seep off the two girls. Maybe everyone wasn't mad at him. He sighed and stole a soda from the fridge before retreating back to his room where his X-box sat paused on a quest in _Fable_. He sighed and un-paused the game, hearing a call of 'chicken chaser' he ran through the town on his search for blue mushrooms. A few hours later he heard shuffling and the door closing signifying that Miyako and Iori had left. He sighed and decided to use this chance again to sneak more food without his sister seeing him.

He was proven wrong however, when he walked out into the kitchen to see his sister waiting for him expectantly, a plate of dinner set out for him on the opposite end of the table from her. He hesitated but sat down across from her, and the two began their meal in silence.

"I am sorry about what I did you know." He said finally. She humphed and looked up.

"Look, I overreacted. We all do that on occasion. I'm sorry it was a stupid thing to do. Takeru was right by my side, why aren't you as mad at him as you are me?" Taichi asked, his anger returning. It wasn't fair that only he was blamed. Everyone one else had been right behind him most of the way. Why was he the only one being exiled?

"Takeru didn't call Yamato a whore." Kari said simply, she got up as she finished her meal and made her way to the sink. She slammed everything down into the dirty side and turned back to him. "Also, if you're so sorry, why are you saying it to me? You'd be better off finding Yamato, or even Ken. I'm going out with Mimi tonight. I'll see you tomorrow." She turned away from him and stormed out of the house. He stared blankly at the wall. After everything that had happened over the past few months, what his sister said really hit home. He needed to talk to Yamato. He placed his dishes with his sister's and threw his jacket on. He moved to get out of the door and headed towards the blonde's apartment. He just hoped Yamato was there and would see him.

* * *

Takeru and Daisuke sat curled up watching the movie in Takeru's living room. His mother and brother were still at the clinic, after almost forty five minutes of the first session Takeru had become bored of waiting and asked his mom if he could leave and spend the day with Daisuke. She agreed, and he sped off to catch up with Daisuke. It had been far to long since they had hung out. He smiled and looked over at his softly snoring boyfriend. After half of the Harry Potter movie, the brunet had passed out against the back of the couch, and Takeru had taken up residency on his shoulder. His smiled widened as Daisuke mumbled in his sleep. Even when he was fighting with Daisuke he couldn't help but miss the moments like this. The thought of the fight brought a frown to Takeru's face. He couldn't believe he'd been so blind and naive Daisuke had never stopped telling him that his brother needed him, and yet... Takeru had shunned Yamato at every chance he got.

"Daisuke?" He asked softly, nudging the boy awake. "Daisuke, do you think I'm a bad brother?" Takeru asked as the boy looked down on him. The annoyance of being woken up faded as the question registered with the brow eyed boy.

"Take, what would make you say that?" He asked wile shutting off the movie that he hadn't watched. Takeru looked down.

"I was so mean to him. I never even pretended to care. He won't talk to me. He must hate me." Takeru dissolved into tears and buried his face into Daisuke's chest. Startled by this sudden outburst Daisuke mutely wrapped his arms around the crying boy.

"He doesn't hate you. Yamato could never hate you. He's just- just preoccupied. He's at the clinic right now. I mean he's going through a lot right now Take. You were there for him when he absolutely needed you. Give him some time and he'll come around. I promise." Daisuke placed a kiss on the top of Takeru's head. "Don't cry sweetie." He said rubbing Takeru's back soothingly. "He'll be okay."

"What if he isn't? What if this time he has to go away?" Takeru asked, wiping the remainder of his tears away. Daisuke only continued to rub his back. For once, he didn't have an answer. He wasn't sure about any of this self-harming business. Going to a clinic to work through his problems 24/7 might be the best option for Yamato.

* * *

Sora stared at her ceiling and wondered why she'd done everything she had to upset Yamato's life. She had been one of his best friends for as long as she could remember, and he had always been there for her, and to repay him, she let Taichi use her for sexual pleasure- not that she didn't enjoy it herself- and she let him talk her into having said pleasure in Yamato's room. She brought herself into a sitting position and wiped away tears that were forming in her eyes. Even after everything that happened she and Tai still weren't ever going to be a proper couple. He never did like her for more than just sex.

She sighed and got off her bed. She didn't need to be like this, what she really needed to do was talk to Yamato, apologize, and then hope for the best. She got off her bed and began to prepare to make the trip over to the blonde's apartment. As she was gathering her coat and keys to leave, she thought better of it. Today wasn't the day to go gallivanting off. She'd wait until at least Wednesday before she spoke to him again. Today was Friday, so that gave her a few days to prepare what she would say to Yamato.

* * *

"So Yamato, would you like to tell me why you are here today?" Doctor Satoshi asked, shutting the door behind the blonde boy before moving back to his desk and sitting in the overly stuffed chair.

Yamato hesitated near the door. "You can sit anywhere you want. Whatever makes you most comfortable." Yamato moved to the couch- putting the most distance between himself and the doctor.

"There we go, now, can you tell me why you are here?" Yamato opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out, so instead he pulled his sleeves up to his elbows and showed his arms. Dr. Satoshi nodded, and scribbled some things down on his paper. "Can you tell me why you chose to start cutting?"

"I-I-I'm sorry." Yamato said looking down. He shook his head. It was all still too fresh, and some of it he just couldn't explain. However, the doctor just nodded at him.

"Alright, we'll start off with an easier question. Do you have a girlfriend?" He asked, Yamato shook his head again. "Boyfriend?" Yamato hesitated before nodding. "Can you tell me his name?"

"Ichijouji, Ken" Yamato said quietly.

"Really? Good for you. Can you tell me about him maybe?" Yamato nodded again, but kept his eyes focused on the ground.

"As you probably know from the new broadcasts, he's has blue hair, and dark blue eyes. He's one of the kindest people I've ever met. He's sweet and caring, talkative and intelligent, and very good looking." Yamato blushed when he realized he was rambling. The doctor chuckled, and motioned for him to go on. "It was him who first took away my knife. I mean I found it again later, but he was the first to really try to get me to stop. He did so much for me and I feel like I've let him down." Yamato's eyes were once again on the ground. The doctor continued writing, taking everything he could in about his newest patient.

"I just. I- can we not go there?" Yamato asked suddenly, it had worked before, maybe the doctor would keep letting him dodge the subject.

"You can't ignore the problem forever Yamato." Dr. Satoshi said. _Damn_. "However, if you are still not ready, how about you tell me about your family?"

"My mom and Dad got a divorce when I was really little, so I don't remember too much about being one big family. Takeru, my brother, and I were only re-united a few years ago when we took a trip to summer camp together. A lot happened to us on that trip, and we grew close and stayed connected, but now I just feel as if I let him down too. I really am worthless." Yamato said tears brimming in his eyes. "He was so angry when he found out about my cutting…" Yamato trailed off, lying back against the couch in his own little world, completely forgetting the doctor was there.

Doctor Satoshi let him settle back, and watched him slowly drift off into his own world. Yamato's mind was clearly in another place and the doctor felt it best not to disturb him. Instead, he just sat, waiting to see if Yamato would respond to him again. An hour later, he still had no response from the blonde. "I think that's enough for today Yamato, I'll see you again next week." The blonde looked up startled, and hung his head.

"I'm sorry." He said again.

"It's perfectly fine Yamato; we'll talk about everything when you're ready. I'll see you next week." He said again, and Yamato walked out to be greeted by his mother.

"Takeru went to hang out with Daisuke. Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked, trying to get close enough to him to comfort him. He backed up slightly, trying desperately to stay out of her reach.

"Can I have Ken over?" He asked sullenly. She looked sad, but smiled at him all the same.

"You know what? Why don't you call and see if you can go there for the night? I have some stuff to finish up anyway and I think it will be a nice break for you.

Yamato smiled and pulled out his phone, dialing the now familiar number.

Ken waited in silence for his door bell to ring. Yamato had called nearly hour and a half ago asking if he could spend the night. Ken immediately said yes and went about cleaning his house for his long awaited visitor. Soon the doorbell sounded out and he moved to the door to let the blonde in. Yamato smiled as he walked across the threshold. Before he could begin to remover his shoes, Ken pulled him into a deep kiss.

"I've missed you." He said, pulling Yamato into a closer hug. "I've missed sleeping near you every night."

"Me too." Yamato said.

"So tell me, how did your appointment with Doctor Satoshi go today?" Ken said, pulling Yamato into the kitchen and sitting him down. Yamato looked at his feet, shame flashing across his face.

"I couldn't talk to him. Every time he asked a question I would just talk myself into the ground. I'm sorry." Yamato felt like all he'd done that day was apologies to people. He felt that same sense of worthlessness wash over him. Ken pulled him into another kiss.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He said breaking the kiss. "It's hard to talk. Don't you remember how long it took you to open up to me?"

"You were the Digimon Kaiser." Yamato said dryly.

"That's beside the point. It's a hard thing to talk about Yamato. One day you'll get it and feel better. I promise." Ken said. "Now let's go do something fun." He smiled wickedly and dragged the blonde with him.

* * *

At the Takashi residence, the doorbell rang. Natsuko got to her feet and moved to the door wondering who on earth was there. She mentally counted off her children. Takeru and Daisuke were asleep on the couch (she'd shut the Harry Potter menu screen off when she'd gotten home) and Yamato was with Ken. Still, she made her way to the door and pulled it open to come face to face with Taichi.

"Is Yamato here?" He asked without looking up from the carpeted floor beneath him. Natsuko blinked in surprise and tried to regain her composure.

"I'm afraid he isn't Taichi." She said, a worried look passed over her face as the brunet's face fell. "He's at Ken's house. I'll tell him you stopped by when he gets back tomorrow alright?" She asked, oblivious to everything that had happened in the past few days. He nodded and walked away, his face distorted by anger once again.

Ken Ichijouji.

Every time he tried to get close enough to Yamato to apologize that boy seemed to pop up and foil his plans. He angrily kicked a rock across the sidewalk as he silently cursed the name of the boy who'd replaced him.

Ken Ichijouji.

Taichi felt bile rise in his throat, and his eyes darkened with anger. Anger mostly at himself, and some of the anger misdirected at Yamato and his new boyfriend. Taichi picked the rock up and threw it as hard as he could.

Ken Ichijouji.

The name tasted like venom every time it circled his head. He got back to his house, and instantly sealed himself off in his room, fully intending to skulk for the rest of the night.

* * *

Yamato smiled and curled up against Ken, breathing in his magnificent smell that was uniquely him. They both lay together in Ken's bed, just waiting to fall asleep.

"Good night Ken." He said quietly.

"Good night Yamato" Ken said back, placing one last kiss on the blonde's lips before he fell asleep.

* * *

**A/n:** There you go. Then end of Ripple Effect. Looks like Tai still isn't over Yamato. Tch. That might not end well for him. As for my next update I don't know exactly when it'll be. I have my first college finals coming up, and on top of that two more papers to write. I have all of J-term off though, so I will try to get the last two chapters I'm planning up in that time. Sorry that it's going to take so long.


	11. Beginning Closure

**A/n: Bla bla bla. Long winded talking. Words, words words. Ah now that that is over. Thank you to my reviewers from last chapter; _Akira Nishikawa_, _SoRikuStar_, and _Chlobo Shoka_. Thanks also to my beta _chrono_-_contarct_. Also thank you to anyone and everyone who added this story to their favorites or alert list.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Nor do I own any product, movie, or other various things that may be mentioned.**

* * *

Ken woke to the sound of his D3 receiving a message. He groaned and pulled himself away from his sleeping boyfriend to find out what new threat was haunting the Digital world. He opened the D3 and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He read the message carefully. Then his jaw dropped. He re-read the message and sat bolt up in his bed. There was no way he just read that message. He got up and dressed himself quickly. Looking back at the sleeping form of Yamato he decided against waking the boy up. He sighed and made his way out of the room. Waving a quick goodbye to his mom he left the apartment in a hurry and made his way down to the train station near his house.

After almost half an hour of sitting on the bus he made his way to the park near the Odaiba Bridge the message had indicated. A lone person guided him to the bench he needed to be at. The person sitting there turned at his approaching footsteps and gave him a hesitant smile. He didn't return the small gesture, but instead crossed his arms in front of him and frowned.

"I got your message and I came. What could you possibly want from me? Honestly I'm a little confused as to why you want to talk to me in the first place. Seeing as how our last encounter went I figured you and I'd never speak again."

"Let's not talk here. It's a little 'out in the open'." Ken nodded and they both stood, moving to find a more secluded area of the park.

* * *

Waking up was something Yamato always dreaded doing, he was as far from a morning person than anyone else he knew. However, today it seemed more cruel than usual. He woke, not in the warmth of someone else's arms as he had expected, but alone, and well cold. Glancing over at the clock, he widened his eyes in shock. It was nearly ten in the morning. He hadn't slept that long in ages. He sighed and rolled out of bed trying to locate his usual source of heat. He stumbled around Ken's apartment still rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Yamato honey, I didn't know you spent the night last night." Yamato smiled at the sight of Ken's mother.

"It was kind of a last minute thing. Do you know where Ken is?" He asked her, sitting down to join her as she drank her coffee. As she finished she shook her head.

"He disappeared earlier today; I don't know when he'll be back. I have to leave for work, but you're welcome to stay here and wait for him to re-appear. I'm sure he will eventually." Yamato bit the inside of his lip. The more he thought about it, the more likely it was that Ken would call him when he wanted to reappear. He sighed and stood up bowing slightly.

"Nah that's okay. I'll just go home. When you do see him could you tell him to give me a call?" He asked, moving to gather his belongings and head back to his mother's house. Ken's mother nodded and he smiled thanking her again, and heading out the door to return back to his house.

"Taichi stopped by yesterday Yamato" Natsuko said nonchalantly as the elder blonde entered the house. "He seemed rather upset and asked to speak with you. I think it's high time you gave that boy a call and worked everything out."

"I don't think that is such a good idea" Yamato mumbled moving past his mother to drop off his clothing and bag onto his bed. He turned back to her and found her staring him down with the "mother knows best look". "Mom, he called me a whore. I don't ever want to talk to him again." Yamato glared defiantly but his mother only tried to make herself taller and more intimidating.

"Yamato Ishida, have you ever thought about what that poor boy must be going through? I know he hurt you, and honestly, if I wouldn't have seen him yesterday and he would have just called here instead I would be on your side right now telling you it was alright and not to talk to him," she said gently, she moved toward him and for the first time in a long time drew him into a hug. "You know I would stand up for you no matter what. I saw the look in his eyes Yamato. He's confused, angry, and upset. Jealousy may have made him attack you, but now he's truly trying to fix his mistakes.

"Life doesn't always go the way you want it too, and I know you don't want to forgive him. I know you think that you can never be friends again and you are probably right, but please, I think you need to at least talk to him. A lot of angry words have passed between the two of you and something needs to be resolved. You can't just leave this the way it is. It will only hurt the both of you, and maybe someone else in the future." Yamato sighed into his mother's body. For once in his life he knew she was right. He would eventually have to face Tai, and clear the water. There was no time like the present either. He sighed and went to the phone.

"Alright mom, I'll give him a call." He said dialing the number he knew so well. Instead of the usual joy he felt in the ringing of the phone, a sense of anxiety and worry pool in his stomach. "Hey, Tai- yeah it's me- yes we do- where?-the park?-okay meet you there soon." Yamato turned back to his mother. She gave him a small reassuring smile. He returned a blank stare. He moved and scooped his jacket and keys back off the bed making his way out the door to face his ex-boyfriend.

* * *

"Takeru, I left your brother sleeping in my house. There better be a good reason why you called me all the way out here on such short notice." Ken said, leaning against one of the many trees surrounding himself and the blonde. Takeru sat on the ground against a tree in front of Ken.

"How is my brother doing?" Takeru asked his voice quiet and controlled. He kept his face down, his bangs casting a shadow across his usually bright blue eyes. He picked at the grass near his feet, waiting for an answer from the boy above him.

Ken raised an eyebrow at the question. "Why not ask him yourself? You do live with him don't you?" Ken asked trying to keep any annoyance out of his voice. The words seemed to slice at Takeru and he flinched; he let his head drop farther down and mumbled to the ground. "For goodness sake, you are his brother." Ken mumbled. Takeru looked up questioningly. "Nothing, now what did you say to the ground?"

"I said he won't talk to me. No matter how hard I try he won't say a word to me. He says more to our mother. It's really starting to get me down."

"Have you told him how you feel?" Ken asked pushing himself off of the tree to sit down next to Takeru. Takeru shook his head in response. "I see. Maybe if you tell him you are worried about him, he'll open up to you more."

"Not likely. That isn't how Yamato works. He's never responded to words. Every time I used to ask, I'd get shoved away." Takeru was on the verge of tears as he spoke the words, Ken felt a little bit of pity for the boy in front of him. "Now, I can't even be near him without him closing up. It's like that bond we spent so long creating just disintegrated. I've tried so hard to make up for the way I had acted the past few months but he doesn't care. So that's why I'm here. I just want to know he's okay."

"I would love to tell you that everything is fine, but honestly, Yamato is going to need a lot of help. He's so lost right now he needs all the support that can be given to him." Ken said. Takeru sighed. "Although I still think you should try and make him understand where you are coming from. Tell you what. I'll talk to him, and see if I can get him to talk to you. Alright?"

"Yeah, good luck. That'll never happen. Thanks anyway Ken." Takeru said, standing up and leaving the blunette boy by himself.

* * *

On the opposite side of the park, Yamato sat waiting for Taichi to show up. Neither of them lived to far away from the park, and he highly doubted that it should take this long for the brunet to get there. He fidgeted in his seat again. With a glance down at his clock he groaned when he realized he'd only been sitting there for three minutes. His nerves were just getting to him. Back in the digital world, he'd tried to make everything right between himself and Tai, however; Tai hadn't been willing to go with it, and now suddenly he was all for the plan. This made Yamato's nerves stand on end. He sighed again and stood pacing in front of the park bench he was previously sitting on. The entire way to the park he'd done nothing but worry about what he should say to Taichi. Nothing had come to mind and now he was worried that this conversation would fail like all of their other attempts.

After what seemed like an eternity he heard footsteps and turned in his pacing to see the brunet walking towards him. Neither spoke as Tai slowly approached Yamato. He came to a halt only a few feet away from the blonde and simply stared at him. It became unnerving for Yamato and he decided that it was now or never to break the silence. "So, you think we need to talk?" He asked. Taichi nodded and took a deep breath before looking into the blue eyes in front of him.

"Firstly I'm an idiot." Taichi said, trying to ignore the "no duh" stare Yamato was giving him. "Just here me out Yama." He looked down and took a deep breath before continuing. "I haven't been a very good person to you lately. During our relationship and after the break up I made some pretty heavy decisions that might have ruined this friendship forever. Hell, if I were you I probably wouldn't have shown up today considering everything I've said to you." Yamato said nothing, but waited in mild interest for Tai to continue. The brunet took another breath and continued. "The thing is I was jealous. Really jealous. You had Ken looking out for you in the same way that at one time you would only let me do. You moved on so fast it hurt at first.

"Then I realized how much I must have hurt you, and to see you with our enemy it killed me. I missed when I was the one you came to for help. That's what caused me to be so mean. I should have never said what I said. I acted so badly. I can never fully explain myself, nor can I ever expect full forgiveness from you. I just, want things to be out in the open. I am truly sorry Yama. I know that will never cover everything I did, and I know that it's not even a good start but I really am sorry." Taichi, having said his peace, turned on his heels and started to walk away. Yamato stared after him, shock written all over his face. Snapping out of his stupor he ran to catch up with Tai.

"Tai wait." He said, grabbing Tai's arm and turning him around. "I accept your apology. I am going to need all the support I can get in these upcoming months. Although I would like to pretend there is nothing wrong with me, I know that's what got me in this situation to begin with." He pulled up his sleeves to emphasis his point. "I can't fully forgive you now, as some of the pain is still too fresh, but I can say that I would be worse off if we weren't still friends."

A relieved smile broke across Tai's face. "I'm glad to hear that Yama."

"How about you come and have dinner with Ken and me one night? Get to know him better?" Yamato asked, rubbing the back of his neck, a sheepish grin on his face.

"I would love too."

* * *

Takeru paced the floor as he waited for his brother to arrive home. He needed to have this talk with him. He missed the company Yamato and wanted things to go back to the way they were st wanted his life to be normal again. He jumped as soon as the door opened. An almost happy Yamato came through the door, but stopped short when he saw his younger brother. "Mom had to work late tonight it's just us." Takeru said quickly. Yamato only nodded and moved to sit on his bed. "Yamato!" Takeru said quickly and loudly. Startled the elder blonde turned back. "Uhm. I'm sorry about how I acted before. I just-

Yamato cut him off with a wave of his hand. "Please, I've had too many long apologies. I don't need any more today." Yamato continued to his makeshift bed and discarded his jacket and keys. Without turning around he was sure that Takeru had a crushed look on his face. He couldn't continue this. "What do you want for dinner?" He questioned turning to see a confused face on Takeru. "I just- we haven't eaten together just the two of us forever. I thought it would be a nice change of pace."

"Oh uhm, well could you make my favorite meal?"

Yamato smiled at the hesitant request, and moved towards the kitchen. "Sure squirt. Want to help?" Takeru nodded and moved to help his brother pull out pots and pans.

"I-I know I haven't been here really to help you recently Yama, but I would like that to change. If you ever need to talk I would be ready and willing to listen. I have been a crappy brother recently and feel I should do something to make it up to you." Takeru fiddled with the flour pot waiting to hear his brother's answer.

"Takeru, I said no apologies!" Yamato said smirking; he threw a bit of sugar at his younger brother. "I would appreciate it though squirt. Let's get cooking."

* * *

Ken sighed. What was it with these chosen children and coming to him about Yamato? Seriously, it was no wonder Yamato had thought they all had abandon him, They all just kept coming to him for help. He stared at the brunet in front of him. This one wasn't even original. "Taichi, if you and Yamato have already made amends why do you need my help with him?"

Taichi looked ken in the eyes and sighed. "I'm afraid of screwing it all up again. Tell me what I can do so I don't screw up again. Takeru texted me and said you gave good advice, and I assume that is why Yamato started to come to you for help. Just give me something so I can make sure never to hurt Yamato again. I may not love him as a boyfriend, but I do see him as a brother. I can't screw this up any more. Please, you have to help me!"

"What do you expect me to do?" Ken asked trying not to feel to much sympathy for the pathetic boy in front of him. "There isn't any secret answer to being someone's friend. Taichi, if you want to not hurt Yamato again, you'll have to figure out how on your own. We are two completely different people. He needs you to be his friend and me to be his boyfriend. No advice I can give you will help you with that. The best I can tell you is not to call him a whore again. I'm pretty sure that'll get you punched."

"You have nothing for me? Why is it you are so amazing in Yamato's eyes, and yet you can't help me?"

"Taichi, I told you. I can't give you advice on how to be a better friend. It's not in my department. As you might have noticed last time we went to the digital world, I got the crest of kindness (1). You need to talk to someone who has friendship. Go see Daisuke or something. All I can tell you is that if Yamato forgave you he understands what that means. He's prepared to try and work through whatever other problems might arise. Maybe you should stop looking for other people to tell you how to run your relationships and get some courage and just face problems head on."

"You can be insightful see?" Taichi said no sarcasm in his voice he said a hasty goodbye and bolted.

Ken shook his head and shrugged at the antics of the boys. He would never figure out how such a dysfunctional rag tag team of kids had taken him down in his heyday. Although a certain blonde may have had a lot to do with that, he smiled slightly and pulled out his phone, before sending a small fluffy text reading: "Enjoy today with your bro. Can't wait to see you XO Ken." to Yamato before turning his mind to homework. Sometimes it was okay to be overly corny. On occasion it was necessary, because the smallest change might make the biggest difference.

Yamato received the text from Ken and smiled lightly. Takeru looked up from his dinner in confusion. "What are you smiling at?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Nothing Takeru just keep eating your dinner." As he was speaking he texted Ken back: "Thanks for speaking with him. It's made all the difference in the world."

"Whatever lover boy. Tell Ken thanks for the advice."

"It wasn't Ken." Yamato said quickly looking alarmed. Was he really that obvious?

"Uh huh, and I'm Castiel from Supernatural (2)." Takeru deadpanned. They both broke out in giggles and continued their meal and talking again long into the night. (3)

* * *

**1: That trip happened somewhere in the two days. I just don't find the digital world that important now that Ken isn't the Kaiser so the rest of what happens will just be mentioned and not actually written about.**

**2: Just finished season 5. Any other fans out there? Castiel has slowly taken over my favorite character spot for that show and I actually kind of want to watch season 6 even though I swore I wouldn't.**

**3: D'awww brotherly bonding.**

**A/n: Okay. Only one more chapter to go I think. I might write an epilogue but it depends on how much I want to continue this story after I write the next chapter. The epilogue wouldn't be anywhere near as long as these chapters, so if there is an epilogue don't expect much. It would probably be only one to two pages. Three if you are lucky. As soon as I finish this next chapter (hopefully by the end of next week) I will start construction on my next big project. There will probably be more oneshots mixed in because I have a few written, so if things get slow I will post those. Anywho see you next chapter.**


	12. Snap Decisions

**A/n:**** Here I am again. Thank you to my beta chrono-contract. Thank you to my reviewers **_**Akira Nishikawa, **_**and **_**SoRikuStar. **_**Short A/n this time weird.**

**Disclaimer:**** Don't own digimon. I do own Doctor Satoshi, which I realize for the last few chapters I've been sayin****g I don't**.

* * *

"Back in my office again Yamato?" Doctor Satoshi asked, raising a single eyebrow at the blonde as he sat in the chair across from his desk. Yamato proceeded to move the other chair next to him around so he could throw his legs in it and use it as a foot rest. The doctor sighed and thought about scolding the boy, but knew his words would make no difference.

"Yup. Here I am to stay I guess. Weekly visits." Yamato said, fixing his eyes on the doctor."What week is this now? Five? Six? I've been here so often I can hardly remember."

Doctor Satoshi smiled and pulled out his notebook. Getting the hint Yamato threw his head back and bit his lip. "Hnmm, what to talk about today?" Absentmindedly, he began to scratch at his arm as he dwelled in his thoughts. Doctor Satoshi disregarded the scratching for now, waiting to see if the blonde could catch his own actions. "Well, uhm." The scratching increased as Yamato reached for something to tell the doctor about. Suspension was etched into the elder man's face however.

"Let's start this easier. Pull up your sleeves." The doctor said, assuming the scratching a sign. Yamato looked startled at the request but pulled up his sleeves none the less. A few new scars were racked across his left arm, but the older scars on the right seemed to be unharmed. Blonde bangs fell across Yamato's face in shame. He'd hoped to get out of the office today without the doctor figuring it out, but it seemed his facade was easily seen through.

"Hnmm. As I figured. How did you get your knife back? I thought Ken or your mom had it under lock and key."

"I didn't use a knife." Yamato said quietly. The doctor scribbled something down on his sheet and nodded absentmindedly. "I used the scissors from the kitchen." He sighed and watched as the words he spoke were carefully being cataloged.

"Why were you cutting?" the Doctor asked. Silence fell and he looked up to see the veil of bangs grow ever wider. "Yamato, you know that talking about this will help. You can't keep this up. I know you don't want to be committed but with something like this I'm on the verge of having to check you in. If you talk to me that may not happen. You have a better chance of staying out of this place if you will open up and talk through your problems, and of course not cutting anymore would help immensely. Now, what happened?"

"It's really stupid." Yamato said, letting his fingers slide up and down the cuts, tracing each one. The doctor noted on his paper how the blonde hadn't gone back to scratching after the cuts had been reviled. Doctor Satoshi waited patiently for Yamato to continue his tale. "I – it was because I fought with my mom. She and I have never exactly seen eye to eye because of the divorce and the anger she had for my dad. When they divorced it had been my choice to go live with my dad and let my mom keep Takeru. I felt would be better for him to grow up with his mother (1), and I knew my dad couldn't just be left alone. She saw it as me hating her and wanting to get away from her. Ever since then she's been overbearing towards me and has tried to win my affection back." The doctor nodded and continued to scribble down notes as he went.

"I guess the story started when Take' and I returned to the house after school. He and I had been discussing dinner and what I was going to make when my mom entered the room...

* * *

"_What were you thinking for dinner tonight squirt? Maybe some yakisoba? Or maybe a foreign meal, gumbo, pizza, ravioli? Manacotti?(2) Anything sound good to you?" Yamato asked his brother. Takeru__ just shrugged and taking off his shoes as he entered the house._

"_Anything you want to make Yama. You're a good cook I'm sure you'll think of something." Takeru moved towards his room to deposit his school bag and jacket._

"_I think I'll make grilled spam __and pineapple sandwiches then!" (3)_

"_You will do no such thing!" Takeru spat coming back out of his room to see a sniggering Yamato pulling out different_ _ingredients from the cupboard. "You aren't are you?" the younger blonde asked with an extremely seriou__s voice._

"_No Take' I'm not making spam."_

"_Yamato! Takeru, when did you get home?" Natsuko asked walking out into the kitchen area surveying her two sons. "Yamato what are you doing?"_

"_Making dinner?"_

"_No. I can do that. Why don't you just go rest for a __while?" Natsuko said, shooing her elder son out of the kitchen. Takeru looked on the scene in disappointment. Not that he didn't love his mother, but she wasn't the best cook in the world._

"_Mom, I want to cook. I like cooking. It keeps my mind off of othe__r things." Yamato said, stopping at the edge of the kitchen. _

"_No, you should't be cooking. It'll put too much stress on you! You are a teenager Yamato, you shouldn't have to be cooking and cleaning constantly. Your parents should be doing that for you."_

"_Are you saying that dad is a bad parent because I cook for him?" Yamato asked through clenched teeth. His mother gave an exasperated sigh._

"_No I'm saying that you are in a touch situation right now. You shouldn't need to over work yourself. The last __thing you need is more stress. Your fragile right now Yamato. I know you don't want to hear it, but you need to stop pushing yourself to be what you used to be. Take a break. Let others help you from time to time."_

"_It helps me relax, please-"_

"_No __tonight. I'll be cooking, Yamato." She said, shooing the boy the rest of the way out of the kitchen. Takeru watched the two in silence not sure what to say to either. He knew his mother was just trying to get Yamato to relax, but she seemed to be oblivious__ to the fact she was making him feel useless._

"_Hey, Yamato later on when she's asleep want to make me a snack like you did after the digital world?" he asked. Yamato smiled weakly._

"_Thanks squirt, but I'm fine."_

_ Sometime after dinner finished, and the __other two occupants of the house had finally gone to bed. Yamato crept into the kitchen and grabbed the scissors. Carefully he opened them up, and pressed one to the conjoined blades to his left arm. He pulled the blade smoothly across his skin and hissed __at the pleasure, and cut a few more times. A soft vibration in his pocket was the only thing to break his concentration. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. A text from Ken blinked up at him. The realization of what he'd j__ust done crashed down on him. He dropped the scissors and slid down the cupboard, tears silently falling down his cheeks._

_He couldn't do this anymore.

* * *

_

"Right." Doctor Satoshi said, putting the finishing touches on his latest status report. "I have to tell your mother this, you understand? She'll have to hide the cutlery from you, I'm afraid." Yamato nodded mutely but continued to stare at the ground. "Well, if there is nothing else…."

"Actually" Yamato said looking up for the first time at the doctor. "I do have something I need to ask. With other patients like me, what treatments have you seen that have gotten the best results?"

'Well... uh," Doctor Satoshi said completely caught off guard. "It varies usually by patient, but some respond very well to the one on one like we are doing. Some people prefer one on one sessions and they work through their problems nicely all by themselves. Some don't, some need to be with people who are just like them. They need to push through their problems with strangers who they don't know. See their problems from a new perspective and grow from their mistakes. Some people who have come through this hospital and who have stayed have made friends that they didn't know they would make. They've experienced things that other people would have never experienced before. It shows them that everyone goes through rough times, but you just have to keep trying."

Yamato's eyes fell to the floor again. He bit his lip, and thought. He needed to word this next part carfully. "Doctor Satoshi…" He said the doctor's undivided attention fell on him once more. "I think- I mean- I think I might…"

* * *

"How did the doctor visit go today 'Mato?" Ken asked, snuggling up to his boyfriend. It had been nearly two hours since Yamato had arrived on his doorstep, and showed him his wrist. Worried, Ken had pulled Yamato into a hug and tried to sooth the blonde. They had talked for a while, and when the words ran out, they chose to watch a movie in silence. Yamato grimaced at the nickname, but chose not to say anything about it. He could afford Ken one shortening of his name.

"Well, we just talked about what transpired that night. Not much more." Yamato said his voice vague. He waved his hand to show that it hadn't been important. Ken bit the inside of his lip. Yamato had been hiding something the whole two hours he was here. He wasn't sure what, but every time the clinic was brought up, Yamato would get defensive and quiet.

Ken sighed, but chose to accept whatever it was that Yamato refused to tell him. He slowly began to move his hand against Yamato's shoulder, repeating a pattern of soft circles. A tiny sigh of happiness left Yamato, and the blonde leaned against Ken and let his eyes slip shut. He could feel the guilt gnawing at his insides for not telling Ken the pressing matter at hand, but right now, in this embrace he didn't want to ruin anything. He decided that as soon he woke up from the inevitable sleep that was about to claim him he would tell Ken what he was hiding. The bluenette had saved him after all and deserved to have at least that.

Ken planted a gentle kiss into Yamato's hair and continued to move his hand. He knew full well that the blue eyed boy had been asleep for quite some time now, but he felt that it was well deserved. He shut the moved off and situated himself and Yamato, and fell asleep listening to the soft breath of his boyfriend.

* * *

Sora had chickened out. So what? After a whole week of trying to find something to say to Yamato, she'd come up empty handed. What do you say to one of your best friends after you have an affair with their boyfriend ultimately throwing him into a self destructive depression that he had to not only go to therapy to try and resolve, but also turned to the greatest enemy of the digital world to get any sort of comfort? There wasn't too much that came to mind.

She knew that Taichi and Yamato had made up, and she also knew that if they could do it, she could do it, but she hadn't been able to muster the courage to go talk to him. Courage had always been Taichi and Daisuke's department. She was love, although she had a crappy way of showing it as of late. She sighed again and fell backwards onto her bed, wracking her brain for anything at all that she could even say to begin to apologize to Yamato. She sighed and closed her eyes.

Maybe this could wait until next week.

* * *

Yamato's eyes slowly fluttered open and he smiled softly when he realized that he was still curled up against Ken. He turned his head slightly and kissed the other boy carefully on the lips, watching in sad amusement how he slowly came back to the living. "Hey" Yamato said softly.

"Hey" Ken responded back stroking the blonde's hair affectionately. Yamato bit his lip in guilt again. "OK, Yamato what are you hiding?"

"I don't know how to put this Ken so I'll just say it bluntly. I asked Doctor Satoshi if I could be admitted into the ward. I leave to go spend at least the next eighteen months in there." Yamato said averting his eyes from the soft violet eyes that bore down on him.

"I figured something like this may happen." Ken said with a sigh, pulling Yamato closer. "I figured you would end up having to go"

"It won't be forever," Yamato said quietly, moving back into the embrace.

"No, and it'll probably be for the best. Have you told anyone else of your plan yet?" Ken asked Yamato shook his head and the two fell silent for a few moments. "Let's worry about this tomorrow. For now let's just get some sleep."

* * *

"Doctor Satoshi…" He said the doctor's undivided attention fell on him once more. "I think- I mean- I think I might…I think I want to check into the ward." Yamato said finally.

"You want to what now?" The doctor asked, completely flabbergasted at the young boy in front of him. Not even two hours ago, the blonde was trying desperately to stay out of the ward.

"I want to check in. You know about the digital monsters, and the digital world, and all of that stuff from a few years ago is right?" Yamato asked, the doctor nodded remembering the patients who had thought they'd gone insane, he remembered those kids who'd saved the world. "Well, as you may know, I am one of those children. I fought alongside people I had never known before in my life. I went through situations with them that most people will never dream of.

"I saw things and learned things about myself there that made it so I wasn't dead today. After all that, after being shoved into a difficult task with a bunch of people I didn't know, what I discovered about myself is I need the support of others in order to do anything in my life. My friends and boyfriend can try all they want, but none of them will truly be able to help me as much as these people who have faced similar problems that I have."

"Okay, well, since it's Friday, how about, I give you until Monday morning to say goodbye to everyone and pack up some clothing? 8 am Monday morning we'll check you in, and try to help you."

Yamato stood and bowed. "Thanks Doc." He said before exiting the room.

* * *

**1: Or so says Wiki.**

**2: mmm different foods….all delicious! Well except for ****pizza...**

**3: This line was inspired by my brother. He left home and went to college and became an amazing cook. I mean, my family can cook, we're all good but my brother could be a professional, he's just phenomenal but every time I tell him to make me some****thing he suggests this. I hate spam….he loves it.**

**A/n:**** I really was going to end it after this chapter… I really was. However; I kinda had an insomnia educed brilliant idea to extend this a bit, not much, only about another chapter maybe two, and an epilogue but the point is there will be more. If I keep on m****y writing roll I will have the last few chapters up within January. So there you go. Blame insomnia for extending ALTL.**


	13. New Beginnings

**A/n:**** I. Am a horrible person. I know this. I am so sorry this took so long for me to write. I got a little side tracked by a novel idea that popped into my head. That combined with a paper for college, and a speech I had to write this was pushed to my back bur****ner for a while. Thank you to my beta **_**chrono-contract **_**for keeping my work from sucking, and thank you to **_**Akira Nishikawa**_** for reviewing last chapter.

* * *

**

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon, or any products I may mention. I own Dr. Satoshi and my clinic guys. Without further ado I give you "New Beginning"

The look on Yamato's face showed more emotion then he was usually willing to convey. After a tearful goodbye and explanation he found himself standing in his newly acquired room. A single bed was shoved up against the wall to his right, and on the left a mirror image sat, but instead of the clean and pristine look the right held, clothing and books were scattered over the left side.

He sighed and set his bag down surveying his side of the room. He made his way over to his newly acquired bed and flopped down on top of it. When he'd first arrived he'd been given a full body search to check for anything sharp he may be trying to bring in with him. He sighed and wondered for the hundredth time if he had made the right decision by choosing to admit himself into this place. He hadn't ever been good at making friends or opening himself to people. The more and more he thought about it, the digital world scenario had been completely different circumstances. He'd been forced to make friends or die. His thoughts were interrupted when the door to his room was pushed open.

A young teenage boy made his way into the room. He had a piece of toast in his mouth and several books in his arms. Long scruffy brunet hair covered his face. For a moment Yamato was reminded of Taichi until the teen shook his head to get his hair away from his toast. He had stunning grey eyes. Yamato stayed silent as he waited for the boy to notice his present. The books were sloppily thrown onto his bed and the toast was devoured in seconds. Finally grey eyes met blue. "You're blonde!" Yamato blinked in surprise at the comment, and his eyes darkened in anger. The kid gave a hesitant laugh. "I suppose that wasn't the best way to introduce myself. Sorry. Sato Hideaki, nice to meet you, I've been here six months and I'm a self- harmer. I like your hair." Hideaki held out his hand to Yamato. He took it and the smile on Hideaki's face grew wider.

"Ishida Yamato." He said in response. He dropped his eyes after a moment, and Hideaki gave a slight smile.

"It's always hard when you're new." He said softly. Yamato still wouldn't look up. Hideaki took in a sharp breath. "Well, let's go meet the others in your support group! I'll show you around here and you can see how everything operates."

The brunet boy grabbed onto Yamato's arm and yanked him up. Yamato let out a hiss of pain and Hideaki dropped his arm like it was on fire. "I am so sorry. I didn't know. They don't tell us why you came. Doctor patient confidentiality crap… are you okay?"

Yamato blinked in surprise at the brunet, but then remembered he had introduced himself as a self- harmer. He bit his lip, but lifted his shirt sleeve up a little. None of the cuts seemed to have re-opened. A gasp from his right told him that he wasn't the only one looking at his scars. He quickly pulled down his shirt, a scarlet blush working its way across his face. Hideaki smiled sympathetically before grabbing Yamato's hand and dragging him along. He slowed down and dropped Yamato's hand as they entered what could only be described as a cafeteria.

"This, obviously is the cafeteria, you'll eat here. Well this part was stupid. I'd be worried if you couldn't figure that out. Let's continue to something more interesting." They moved out of the cafeteria and moved through the various sections of the clinic. He pointed out where the group therapy sessions would be, and where all of the rooms of the other people in their support group were.

"See, there are four support group wings. We're in Green wing. So it's self-harm and eating disorders. Then there's yellow wing which is alcoholics and drug abuse, blue wing which is rape and abuse victims, and finally red wing which is unwed mothers. Only yellow, blue, and green live in the clinic. The unwed mothers come in from time to time to have support meetings with the staff here." Hideaki explained as they walked back towards the green wing. They entered their room, and Hideaki sprawled himself across his bed. "Well, let's have bonding time. Tell me about yourself Yamato. Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Bastard ex?"

"I have a boyfriend." Yamato said, he had found it easier to talk to Hideaki then he'd thought it would be. "His name is Ichijouji Ken."

"The genius?" Hideaki asked, his eyes widening. Yamato nodded in response. "Sweet score man! I have a girlfriend back home. Tanaka, Asami she lives back in Tokyo where I'm from. Tell me, how is Ichijouji in real life? He always seemed so awkward on television to me."

"Ken's… sweet and kind. He's not like any of my other friends. He's patient with me and doesn't boast his intelligent. After… after everyone found out about my habit, he was the only one in my group of friends who continued to treat me as a person and not a fragile. It's nice." Yamato blushed again when he realized he'd been rambling. "Sorry."

"It's cool, I love hearing about other people. I found it's always nice to have someone to talk too." A knock sounded through the room, and both Yamato and Hideaki looked up to see a smaller teenage boy standing in the door jamb.

"Hey Hide, I heard you had a new roomie." The boy moved in and noticed Yamato on his bed. "Hey, I'm Ito, Denji." He said, he used his other hand to move hair out of his eyes. Judging by the fact he didn't have any visible scares on him, Yamato assumed he wasn't a self-harm patient.

"Ishida, Yamato." Yamato said for the second time that day.

"What are you in for Yamato?" He asked, flopping down next to the brunet. Yamato hesitated still not used to answering truthfully. Denji waited patiently for the blonde to come out of his stupor and answer.

"Uhm, self-harm." Yamato said quietly. Denji just nodded and jabbed his finger at Hideaki.

"So just like him then? They usually try to pair the disorders together. My roommate and I are both anorexics." Now that he said it, Yamato could see the skinniness of the boy. "Speaking of my roommate, his name is Suzuki, Haruto. He's about the same height as you and skinnier than Paris Hilton."

Yamato looked at him in confusion but decided not to comment, but instead just try and get used to the new pace of life he was faced with. He stayed quiet as the other two talked around him, and he wondered how Ken was doing.

* * *

Over the weekend he'd come to the chosen children meeting held as a goodbye to Yamato, and they'd invited him back to join their group. Taichi had still seemed very disgruntled about this, but had accepted the bluenette. Ken shifted a little uncomfortably from his place on Takeru's bed. He was at his first official meeting as a chosen child. No longer was he seen as an enemy to the children, or the digital world. Instead he was working with them to try and clean up the mess Archnemon and Mummymon had created. Everyone was treating him as one of the group, but the initial tension between Takeru, Taichi, and he was still there. Daisuke had spent the majority of the day running interference between the three boys and the arguments that were almost caused by their afflicting emotions.

"So, before we break up for the day, any announcements?" Daisuke asked. The other children in the room shook their heads. Then one by one they all started to file out of the house, and go their separate ways for the day. As he got up to leave he was stopped by Sora. She was biting her lip and looking down.

"Can I help you?" Ken asked, trying not to let any emotion show in his voice. Sora had been the only one never to talk to Yamato before he went into the clinic. He wasn't in the best of positions to be talking to her now. She flinched at his voice even though he'd kept it as even as possible.

"I was wondering if you thought Yamato would talk to me if I went to visit him in the clinic." She said quietly. Ken was slightly taken aback by the question. After so long of avoiding the blonde, why now was Sora trying to make amends.

"I don't actually know. I guess you could try." Ken waited for more to come from the girl in front of him, but she just nodded and walked away. He blinked a few times and shrugged. As he left he found Daisuke waiting for him.

"I thought I'd walk with you to the train station. Keep you company." Daisuke said. Ken just nodded and the two made their way out of the building. "So, how's the first day without seeing Yamato going? It must be pretty hard. I mean before this you saw him practically every day."

"Its not as bad as I though. He still gets to call me whenever he needs too, and he texted me earlier. It seems his roommate is really nice, and helpful."

"That's good I suppose. Are you going to see him anytime soon?" Daisuke asked, as the joined the traffic on the street. Ken shook his head.

"We both decided that he should have a month or so to get settled in before I go see him, just to give him a chance to adjust to his surroundings and not become dependent on seeing me all the time."

"That's rough man, if you ever just want to hang out…Takeru and I would be glad to keep you company." Daisuke said, maneuvering out of the way of a fast walking business man. Ken scoffed at his idea. "No really, he's not as mad at you as it seems. We've talked about it, and he's decided as long as his brother is happy with you then he'll try and like you. I think it would be good for you two to get to know each other."

"I'll keep that in mind, but here's my train. I'll see you later Daisuke." Ken said hurrying onto the train and waving his goodbye to Daisuke. The brunet waved excitedly at him as the train pulled out of the station. Ken smiled as he sat in the only remaining seat. Having a friend was actually quite nice.

* * *

Yamato stared at Sora as she sat across from him in the visitors room. He couldn't believe that after only a day of living in the clinic she'd come to see him. However, he did have to give her credit because she seemed nervous about whatever it was she wanted to tell him. They sat staring at each other for a good ten minutes before she worked up the courage to start off.

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

"Sorry for what? That you let Taichi use the both of us, or that I ended up in here?" he asked coldly. She flinched at his tone, but held her head high.

"I'm sorry for choosing to be with Taichi even though I knew it would hurt you. I'm sorry for not coming to you sooner and apologizing, and I'm sorry that events unfolded the way they did." She answered. Yamato continued to stare at her, but didn't make any indications that he was ready to forgive her. "I really screwed up when Taichi and I. When we… when…

"Started fucking like bunnies?" Yamato supplied unhelpfully. In all honesty he'd forgiven Taichi for his actions after the first apology, but his anger for the cherry brunette was stronger, mainly because she hadn't had the courtesy to even apologize to him after stealing his boyfriend.

"Yes." She said softly. He scoffed; at least she wasn't denying it. "I just... Oh, Yama… I thought that he would break up with you. After the first time he told me that he was going to, and that he just needed time. I figured that meant that it would be a week or so, and then it wouldn't be cheating. When you two didn't break up, I panicked and kept running back thinking that it would just be a bit more time before he realized that he wanted me. Then, you found us. He hasn't looked at me since the day you caught us in your bed, and we haven't spoken since then either. I destroyed your life and still didn't get what I was hoping for. Talk about karma." She laughed sadly at the end, but Yamato's usually shining blue eyes stayed hard as she spoke. She cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I know that with what I just said, I didn't help my situation any, but I just wanted to get it off my chest and apologize to you properly. For the bearer of the crest of love, I sure haven't been showing it very well lately. I was so blinded by my affection for Taichi I forgot that you even were there or had feelings. I'm so, so sorry Yama."

"Don't."

"What?"

"Don't call me Yama. That's a nickname reserved for my friends only." Yamato said standing up. He didn't let it show as he stood, but tears formed in his eyes the moment he turned away from Sora.

"Yamato! Wait!" Sora yelled, but the blonde kept walking and never looked back.

Yamato entered his room and sat down on his bed. His roommate was gone at the moment no doubt over talking to Denji about something. He quickly moved over to his bed and sat against the headboard with his knees pulled up to the chest. The tears slipped easily from his eyelids and he tried to blink them out. Blindly he pulled up his sleeve and started scratching at his old wounds. Through his hectic behavior he could hear someone shout his name. He felt a pair of hands grab his and pull them apart so his scratching ceased. The person tried to pull him into a comforting hug, but he squirmed and elbowed them in the stomach. Yamato managed to pull away and saw Hideaki holding his stomach. He moved as far away from the brunet as he could and curled up in the corner. His scratching didn't continue however.

"Would you like to tell me what's wrong?" Hideaki asked quietly. Yamato shook his head and pulled his limbs closer to him trying to make himself as small as possible. "Did it have something to do with that cherry brunette girl who was here to see you?" Hideaki pushed trying to get something out of Yamato. After a moment of hesitation Yamato nodded. "Ex girlfriend?" the question hung in the air for a moment, before bloodshot red eyes met gray eyes.

"Actually, she was one my best friends. She's also the girl who slept with my ex-boyfriend," Yamato mumbled trying to dry the tears from his eyes. "She came to tell me that she honestly thought that letting him use her would cause him to break up with me. She told me she forgot that I had feelings and even existed. Some friend huh?" His laughter was hollow and he stayed curled up in his corner.

Hideaki moved over to Yamato and placed a comforting hand on his arm. He stayed a fair distance away having learned his lesson a moment ago from trying to hug Yamato. "Sometimes it's the people we love the most who hurt us the worst." He said softly. Yamato hiccupped slightly and wiped his eyes again.

"If that's true, then why is living even worth it?"

* * *

**A/n:**** Sorry again for delaying that chapter. The next one will hopefully be up sooner. I hope you liked this ****one;**** it was a bit angst at the end, but****...**** Oh well. How did you guys like Sora? Anyway, I'm off to finish a speech now.**


	14. Progress

_A/n: I don't have an apology this time guys. It's been a long, long few weeks for me. I've been under a lot of stress lately. I'm going to try and focus more on my fics now though, I'm hoping it'll be a stress reliever for me so I don't do something stupid. Anyway, thank you to **Akira** **Nishikawa** for reviewing this story. Also, I would like to give a thank you to t**ragicduck95**, **Tyoushiro**, and **Sweet Fay **for adding A Life to Live to your favorite stories list; thanks to Wnterfroest999 and Lunarshade29 for adding one of my older fics Broccoli to your favorite lists. As always, I send a huge thank you to my beta **chronocontract**. _

_Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own digimon._

* * *

"Would you like to start the conversation in our group meeting today, Yamato?" Dr. Satoshi asked looking patiently at Yamato. The blonde's head jerked up and blue eyes stared at the doctor in shock. Never had he been put on spot in the few weeks of his time here. Usually he was just left alone in his corner (well… they were sitting in a circle so it's wasn't so much a corner as a personal bubble.) with his thoughts to himself.

"Uhm" He stuttered looking around. He knew that he would have to talk to these people eventually but the prospect of actually _speaking_ was making him jittery. Luckily, even though the group sessions had been met with his silence, his roommate and he had formed a sort of bond over the past four weeks. Hideaki piped up from his left to help the blonde start his conversation up.

"Didn't Ken come to see you yesterday?" the brunet asked propping his head up on his arm so that his brunet hair fell across his face. Yamato nodded at his roommate, "Well, tell us how that went. Anything fun happen?"

"Not really, I mean we just kind of talked and walked around the grounds." Yamato said his eyes fixed on the linoleum tiling under his feet. He blushed when a collection of "awws" circled around him. Even Doctor Satoshi made an approving sound in the back of his throat.

"Is he cute?" Denji asked from the other side of the circle. Feeling more confident, Yamato looked at the boy with a bland expression.

"You met him when he came yesterday Den. You had a couple of conversations with him." Yamato accused rolling his eyes at the now bouncing boy. Denji just smiled and waited to hear Yamato's answer. Realizing with a groan that Denji would wait forever grudgingly Yamato complied with his silent demands. "He's very cute." The blush returned and Doctor Satoshi just chuckled and shook his head.

"What about your other friends, Yamato?" Haruto asked from the other side of his roommate. "What are they like?"

"They're all pretty cool. Right now my favorites are Daisuke, my brother, and Ken. They all have actually tried to help me through all of this. The rest just kind of stayed on the outskirts trying not to upset me in anyway."

"There is a topic, what response did you have to your friends when they wouldn't talk to you in fear of upsetting you? Yamato, you start and we'll go around and hear everyone's opinion."

"I guess it was really annoying at first. I hated the fact that they wouldn't just act like themselves. I felt as if the world was ignoring me and no one actually wanted me to get better. I suppose that's the reason I… started in the first place." Yamato said. Unlike his nightmares of speaking to the people around him most weren't looking at him with pity or disgust. They were looking at him with a look that said they'd all been in the same situation.

"Yeah close friends are all the same. It's like they think you're this unbreakable person, and then when you do break you feel as if they think you are weak or something." All of the boys nodded in agreement and Doctor Satoshi leaned back in his chair and simply wrote down some notes on the conversation as it progressed.

* * *

"Did you hear about Takashi's older brother?" The whispers circled Takeru's ears as he rounded the corner nearing the schools exist for the day. He stopped dead in his track staring at the two boys who were so openly talking about him and his family.

"What do you mean? What happened to Takeru's brother?" The one on the left asked. Takeru recognized him as Akiio, Genkei a boy in the grade below him. The first boy to speak had been a boy named Habaki. They both looked up and spotted the blonde as he rounded the corner. Habaki simply smirked at Takeru before continuing what he was going to say.

"Apparently he went completely insane. The family had him locked up in a psych ward because they were afraid he'd kill someone. The whole family is just pathetic." The words sliced through Takeru. In all of the years he'd known Habaki he had never done anything to upset the other boy and didn't know why he was being attacked so cruelly. Anger seeped through him and before he knew what he was doing a scream ripped his throat and he pounced on Habaki the two rolled around on the ground for a good few minutes after Genkei had run to grab a teacher. They were pulled apart and sent to the office.

Takeru was nursing his wounds which consisted of a black eye, several cuts and bruises along with a possible broken finger. He felt better looking proudly at the damage he'd caused to Habaki as the principal scolded him and suspended them from school. Takeru left as Habaki was escorted out with a possible broken nose. As he left the principal's office he was met with an angry looking version of his mother and a worried looking Daisuke behind her. He smiled softly and Daisuke and mouthed that he would call him later before taking off with his mother to go home for the next three days.

"What on earth were you thinking?" She asked as soon as they got into the car. "A fist fight? Neither you nor your brother has ever gotten into a fist fight!" Takeru snorted thinking of the many fights Taichi and Yamato had in the digital world all of those years ago. Not to mention the fist fight he'd gotten into with Ken after the creation of Kimeramon(1). His mother mistook the snort and continued her lecture.

"This is serious Takeru don't laugh! I'm so disappointed. Suspended for three days! What even provoked you to hit that poor boy?"

"He said that we sent Yamato away because he was crazy and was going to kill someone. Then he called us all pathetic." Natsuko sat in silence thinking about what to say.

"I don't blame you for being angry with him Takeru, but fighting is never the answer. Violence doesn't solve anything, and now that man that verbally attached your brother and this family only has more fuel for his fire. Imagine what he'll think now that he provoked you far enough to hit him." Takeru only growled in response and turned his body to stare out of the window at the passing buildings as they made their way back to their apartment.

"I'm sorry that he was saying those things. Would you like to go visit your brother?" Takeru's head shot up at the question and he turned to stare at his mother. "Oh, you're still in trouble and you'll be grounded. Don't expect to be able to tell Daisuke anything tonight. However, I think it'll make you feel better to go and see your brother and see what he has to say on this whole deal.

"Uh sure. Will Yama even be up to seeing us right now?" Takeru asked, his mother only smiled and continued on the way to the hospital.

* * *

"Takeru punched someone?" Ken asked his eyes the size of dinner plates. Daisuke nodded. After he hadn't received a call from his blonde counterpart, he only assumed the rumors were true and the call wouldn't come. He'd run to Ken to see what the boy thought. They both currently sat in Ken's room.

"Well, he does have one hell of a right hook." Daisuke rolled his eyes at the dry humor Ken used.

"Takeru has never been so angry before. I mean even when he's having a good time I can see all of the tension build up in him. Habaki really picked a bad time to start talking trash about Yamato. Takeru is so…"

"Vulnerable?" Ken questioned. The question got him only a glare and he held up his hands in mock defeat. "I only call them as I see them. What is it with all of you chosen children and being seen as weak?"

"Hey, you better watch what you say Kenny-boy, you're one of us now." Daisuke said tossing a pillow at the offending boy.

"How long until you can see Takeru again?" Ken asked changing the subject back to the original conversation. Daisuke only shrugged before grabbing a remote control off the floor.

"Who knows but until then- since the chosen children are all in a shambles, you'll be seeing much more of me Ken."

"Whats wrong with the rest of the chosen? I thought the problem was only between you, Takeru, Taichi, myself, and Yamato?" Ken asked.

"Oh you are so naive Ken. Right now, Hikari isn't talking to Sora because of what her brother and Sora did, by default then Miyako isn't talking to either. She won't speak to 'Kari because Sora is her mentor. She won't talk to Sora because 'Kari is her friend, Miyako has basically taken up refuge in her families store. Taichi is obviously not talking to Sora, because they haven't spoken since...that night. Mimi isn't talking to anyone because she's in America; however I heard from Kari that Sora got a rather nasty e-mail from Mimi and the two were and may still be fighting over the internet. Takeru is going around punching people and skipping the meetings us Chosen are having and basically avoiding everyone. Even me on occasion. You know that Yamato is in the ward. Iori is just hiding from everyone because he has no idea where to stand."

"'Kari is still upset with Taichi and I've heard that the family meals are still incredibly frosty. Sora isn't talking to me because I took Yamato's side after she went and visited him. Jou and Koushiro have become virtually nonexistent- I personally think it's because they really haven't known what has been going on since the beginning and they don't want to take sides."

Ken could do nothing but blink as the news of the chosen falling apart reached his ears. "So… when I was evil this is all I had to do to tear you apart? Too bad I like Yamato so much." He said dryly after a few minutes of silence. Daisuke gave a humorless laugh.

"We'll it has to get better doesn't it? I mean it's not like it can stay this bad forever. You've all made it through worse haven't you?"

Daisuke nodded, and waited as Ken picked up his controller. "Yeah we have, let's just hope that by the time that happens these friendships aren't damaged beyond repair."

* * *

"So, you punched some kind at school, Take?" Yamato said staring his younger brother down. The younger blonde did nothing but nod at him. "And you think mom was wrong to punish you because he was making fun of me?" Another nod. "Well, sorry Take, but she's right. You should have learned that in the digital world. Antagonizing fights isn't what being strong is about. It's realizing what battles you should pick, and where you need to accept your losses."

"You really think that I should have let that kid get away with what he said about you?" Takeru asked, the pain clear in his voice. Yamato sighed and rubbed his face. "You want me to let him get away with calling you a psycho?"

"No. You should have reported him, Take. You getting in trouble is no way to deal with this. Talk to me, Daisuke, mom, or, hell even Taichi is better then punching the kid...on second thought maybe not… he probably would have gone and done it for you. The point I'm trying to make kid, is that violence isn't always the answer okay?"

"You have grown up a lot from coming in here y'know that? A month and a half ago you would have beat that kid down yourself."

"Nah, maybe a year ago. A month and a half ago I would have sliced open my skin because I thought he was right." The somber change made Takeru lose his smile and he grabbed his brother's hand.

"Is everything ever going to be fixed in this broken group of ours? Or is this going to be the end of all the friendships we've started?"

Yamato stared at his little brother for the longest time. Not once in his life had he seen the smaller blue eyed boy so lacking of hope. He smiled softly and patted his brother's hand.

"If there is something I have learned over the years about friendship squirt, is even the worst things that tear someone apart can be mended. It just takes time, understanding, and the ability to talk thighs through."

* * *

"Sunsets are usually prettier when you don't have your eyes closed."

Sora opened her eyes quickly, the light hitting them and making her flinch. She gaped at who was standing in front of her. Words failed her as her mouth opened and closed like a fish.

"Yeah, it's me. I think we need to have that conversation now. We've been avoiding it since…"

* * *

1: This is a slight AU (obviously) so basically, they got into that fight but it did nothing to change Ken. Daisuke didn't push to have him join the team. Everything went on, except they defeated Kimeramon and then Taichi's plan came into effect. So imagine "Darkest Before Dawn" being kind of a prequel without the Ken turning good part… if that makes any sense whatsoever...

A/n: Anyway here is the latest installment of A Life to Live, only the epilogue left and this story will be officially over. However, I have the first chapter of my next fic written and hope to publish it at the same time. Ta ta for now.


	15. Fin

**Announcment: This is currently unbetad. Chrono-contract (my beta) and I are having e-mail issues, plus I've barley been home over the past month and a half to work on them. Sorry for the mistakes. As soon as the e-mail problem is fixed I will re-post the "non-grammatical sucky" version. Enjoy. **

A/n: The final chapter of A Life to Live. I can't believe it's been almost a year and a half since I started this fic. Time really flies. Since the last chapter of this story took me so long to write I've decided that this epilogue and the first chapter of _Opposites_ will be posted at the same time. So, go check it out. Sadly it's not another Kento. I've decided to give that pairing a bit of a break considering I've written two chapter fics on it so far. _Opposites_ will be a Taito. After that (or maybe during depending on how frustrating the next few months are…) will be _Control_, a Daichi (with established Kento, Takari, and Mira (Sora and Mimi something I've never tried. It won't be a lot, but it'll be in there)). Thanks to my wonderful, amazingly awesome beta chrono-contract, and thank you to Akira Nishikawa for putting up with my weird updating schedule and reviewing my stories. Thanks to everyone else who's read this and to everyone who's added me or the story to their favorites list.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. I own all the characters who don't appear in Digimon and that's it. Nor do I own any products or anything else I might mention.

Note: I forgot this will take place about six months after the last chapter.

* * *

"You ready Yamato?" Ken asked from the doorjamb. Yamato looked back on his and Hideaki's room. All of their stuff was still cluttering up all the open space. He turned back to his roommate and boyfriend and bit his lip. His eyes hit the floor and he began to rub his arm.

"I don't know you guys. Maybe this picnic was a bad idea. I don't think I'm ready to see all of them yet. I mean when I left I tore the entire group apart. Everyone was fighting." Yamato said stepping back into his comfort zone of the room. Hideaki sighed and moved toward his roommate. He grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the door and his boyfriend.

"C'mon 'Mato." He said continuing to pull the blonde out of the door. Ken followed behind amused by the sight of Yamato quietly following the boy ahead of him. Over the seven months Yamato had been here, his progress had gradually come. After only a few episodes of scratching at his arms, and crying into a phone or into the arms of his roomie Yamato had started to gain his old personality back something that made everyone happy.

"Seriously Hide I don't think it's a good idea. I haven't seen some of them since I went into the ward. What if… what if they hate me?" Yamato asked chewing on the lip that was still in between his teeth and looking back for reassurance from Ken. Ken met his gaze but remained silent. Yamato needed to work through these emotions. Telling him everything was going to be fine wasn't going to work. He'd figure it out for himself.

"How could anyone hate a gorgeous blonde like you?" Yamato looked up and saw Taichi holding the door open for him as they excited the ward. Today, Yamato was celebrating the fact that he was allowed to go outside the ward onto the campus of the hospital. The chosen children decided to show their support by throwing him a picnic party outside the hospital. "Really, everyone is happy to see you. I- uh- well I kind of got the group back together a while ago. It's going to take some rebuilding, but families fight all the time. Are you ready to see everyone?"

Yamato just nodded following the three people as they lead him around the corner. He stopped short when he saw Sora standing a little ways away from the rest of the kids looking at him. "You let her come?" He asked, shooting an accusing look at Taichi.

"Well.. yeah. We kind of reconciled."

* * *

"_Sunsets are usually prettier when you don't have your eyes closed." _

_Sora opened her eyes quickly, the light hitting them and making her flinch. She gaped at who was standing in front of her. Words failed her as her mouth opened and closed like a fish. _

"_Yeah, it's me. I think we need to have that conversation now. We've been avoiding it since Yamato caught us."Taichi took a seat next to the cherry brunette and looked out across the landscape with her. They were both silent for a few minutes before Sora finally got the courage to speak. _

"_We- you and I- are never going to be a couple are we?" She asked quietly silent tears escaping her eyes and trailing down her face. _

_Taichi sighed, but took one of her hands into his. "No" the bluntness of his voice made her tears fall faster. "No we aren't. It was wrong of me to lead you on like that. Just as it was wrong what you did to Yamato. We messed up pretty bad and we'll have to come to terms with that." Taichi said squeezing her hand gently. "I'm sorry you feel the way you do Sora, and I'm sorry that I used you, but we need to fix this." _

"_I know. The whole group is falling apart because of what we did, and poor Yamat-" Her voice cut out and more tears fell as she thought of her ex-friend in the ward. "Everything I did to him, after he was so nice to me. After he trusted me. I'll never get that back. He won't even look at me. I went to visit him you know." _

"_Really?" Tai asked, he hadn't known that the two had spoken. Yamato didn't seem the type to confront her so she had to have gone to him. _

"_Yeah, I tried to apologize and make it better but sadly he still is really hurt. He told me to quit calling him Yama 'cause only his friends could use that name."_

"_Well, he forgave me. Let's just focus on getting everyone else talking for now. Maybe in a few months Yamato and you could have another conversation." Tai said dragging Sora to her feet. "Come on, we have a lot of work to do."_

* * *

"You expect me to talk to her?" Yamato said, his voice wavering slightly. "I don't want to."

"C'mon 'Mato. It's just like the Doc says. The best way for you to get over all of this is to try and rebuild that trust that made you crack. Why not give her another chance?"

Yamato groaned but made his way over to Sora. She bit her lip and her gaze fell to the floor. "Well come on. I don't see how having another conversation will change anything but let's get this over with so I can go enjoy being with my _friends_." Yamato said, moving past the cherry brunette and into a secluded area of the lawn. Sora sighed but followed him silently. She brought her arms around herself hugging gently as she kept her gaze fixed on the ground. Yamato gave an impatient growl and folded his arms against his chest.

"I don't know what to say." Sora said tears welling in the corner of her eyes. "I know what I did to you was wrong. That's why I came here before to tell you everything. I haven't been a very good person these last few months and I know that everything I've done so far has been selfish and shallow. I wish I could do something to make it all better. I could understand if you blame me as the only reason that you're locked up in this place."

Yamato didn't say anything, he just watched the brunette surprised at her words. He wasn't sure how she was blaming years of depression all on herself but she seemed like she wanted to take all of the blame. "If it wasn't for me then you would have probably never picked that knife back up, you and Taichi would still be going strong, and everything would be how it's supposed to be. I wish I could reverse everything that's happened but I can't. I know you're angry with me but I hope that eventually you'll be able to see past what I did and come back to me as a friend. "

"Sora, you can't blame yourself for my issues. I was a cutter long before I met you and if you and Taichi hadn't started that relationship I'm positive something else would have pushed me over the deep end. You can't beat yourself up over that portion of your mistake. As for the rest, I know you're sorry. Sometimes sorry just doesn't cover it."

Sora looked at the freshly cut grass but nodded anyway. She knew that Yamato would reject her again. She wasn't sure why she'd let Taichi talk her into trying to make amends with the blonde again. She let the tears fall and moved to join the rest of the group. "do you remember when we fell into those dark holes in the digital world?" Yamato asked suddenly forcing Sora to look back at him. She blinked but nodded anyway.

"It's like that. Together we've worked ourselves into a deep dark hole of hate and fear. We will never forgive each other if we don't first realize that we are strong enough to stand on our own. Ken has helped me realize that I can stand on my own. I don't need him, I don't need Taichi, and I don't need a knife to know that I'm alive and loved. Although friends and family help, I've learned through all of this that standing on your own for what you need is just as important as falling back on others. I'm really going to need the help of all my friends Sor, whether I'm ready to forgive them or not."

"Yama-" Sora was cut off as Yamato pulled her into a hug. She sobbed again but returned the hug. He let go of her and smiled softly kissing her gently on the cheek.

"One day, I'll be ready to forgive you just like I forgave Taichi, now let's go and have a good time.

* * *

As the sun set on the picnic the others slowly left until just Ken and Yamato remained sitting on the hill overlooking the campus of the hospital staring into the sunset, Yamato had his head nestled into the crook of Ken's shoulder and sighed in content. It had been almost seven months since the two were completely on their own with no guards, parents, or friends to interrupt their serenity. "Can you believe that not even a year ago we were enemies?" Ken asked quietly as pink rend and orange clouds swirled around in the sky. "I'm glad this all worked out."

"It's funny; I remember telling you that we could never be together because it wasn't some storybook romance. Yet here we are, almost every problem resolved and we all managed to stay friends. It doesn't seem possible that everything worked out so smooth and perfect. You think there would be more disappointments in the world." Yamato said leaning into his boyfriend as Ken traced the healing cuts on Yamato's arm.

"Not everything was perfect." Ken reminded him, his fingers still feathering over his skin. "If it were perfect I would have never been evil and you would have never had these scars." Yamato looked away slightly pulling his arm out of Ken's reach. "However, if what happened hadn't happened we may have never found each other. Everything happens for a reason."

Yamato looked at the sunset for a long time not responding to what Ken had said. He sighed and snuggled in closer as the weather turned colder with the lack of the sun. "Why did you forgive Sora?" Ken asked at long last. He had been sure when the two had walked away earlier in the day that Yamato would stick to his resolve and not make up with the cherry brunette girl, yet he'd been proven wrong.

"She needed a friend just as much as I did. Eventually we all need to heal, and if I really want to ever get out of this hospital I will need to forgive her and let go of those negative feelings I held for her. They only lead more to my problem and I want it to be gone. I may always be a recovering cutter, but I don't want to depend on it."

"I'm glad to hear that." Ken said leaning down and kissing Yamato softly on the lips. Neither boy knew what the future would hold, but in that moment with the golden sun shining over them, on that hill it felt as if the rest of their life would be that perfect.

* * *

A/n: Well… there is the end. Don't forget to go check out my new fic _Opposites_ I hope you like it just as much. Ta for now.


End file.
